Survival Journey 18+ ON-HOLD

20. BROKEN HEART

¶Aiyla PoV¶

"you were the first
one I loved

You were the first
love I lost"

********

Our love was blooming everyday like new flowers blooming in summer days.

Everyday was a bright and shiny day for us..we were head over heels for each other. The love we had was for eternity and never ending. Both of us were going insane and were so doped like high in drugs, no not like high on heroin or methadone but high on love drugs. 

Like his love for me was growing deeper with each day my love for him was also growing chasmic each day.

Our morning would start by saying good morning to each other on the phone day by meeting for dates at that time with loads of making out nights by hearing each other's voices and saying sweet nothings.

Who would have thought I would be so lucky in finding such a great and wondrous boyfriend.

Sometimes I think this all is just an illusion; an illusion that will be gone or lost, you know, just like a beautiful dream from which you don't want to wake up!

This new love I had found was also just like a wonderful dream: a dream if woken up from slumber can be broken.

To be truthful I was scared, scared to be heart broken again, scared to lose the love of my life, scared that he would leave me someday! Just like how my family had abandoned me, scared he would stop loving me.

These thoughts were eating me from inside and I was also not being able to put my concerns in front of Ronin, it was getting difficult for me to even breathe. 

Was I being stupid or was it my insecurities? I didn't understand this.

After going through so much in life, I think it was normal that I was having this sort of thinking.

Life itself is very hard to live if you don't have the support, love and care of your loved ones.

And now that I had Ronin with me I don't even wanna think of a life without him he was my air and light. 

I also had the insecurities regarding my looks, you see he is so fucking cute and I was just a okay of girl with olive skin but whenever I used to tell him this he would say don't- don't say anything bad about my beautiful Aiyla and that I'm the most pretty girl he had ever met.

Though everything was going strong between me and Ronin, there was a nagging feeling inside me that was telling me something bad was about to happen, something that was going to leave me maimed. 

I just hope everything just works out fine and my scary thoughts remain as that.

Time sure passed by soon, we were celebrating our 5 months dating anniversary. Ronin said, I had a special day planned out for us and I was really curious about it cause he had not given me any information, he had said it was a surprise for me...us.

I was getting ready for our special date doing my morning business including shower at the same time, I was called by my servant saying I had a phone call from my friend and I knew it was my Ronin.

As I answered my call, Ronin said- hey! my love; what are you doing right now? Are you getting ready for our special day out? I said- Yes! baby I'm excited about it. Ronin- wear something sexy like shorts or skirt so that I can easily take my hands on ur cunt and I was like what the hell babe my grandpa might be listening, be careful what you say on the phone. He was laughing so evilly. 

After our short conversation we ended the call saying we both need to get ready.

Ronin picked me up from our usual meeting spot but he was still being secretive about where we were going. 

We drove to a resort where he had booked a room .It was a beautiful place, the view from the room was looking so peaceful and amazing. 

I was standing by the window when I suddenly felt an arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me towards his chest. He whispered in my ear happy 5th anniversary love. I was so happy and content. I also wished him a happy anniversary by kissing his lips.

We broke apart and he gave me a beautiful t-shirt and necklace as a gift. I was smiling. Ronin asked me if I liked the gifts and I said yes, he told me to turn around and put the necklace on my neck saying don't ever take it out and if someday we are not together you can look at it and remember me.

I was shocked hearing him say that and I kept on wondering what he meant by that again the same nagging feeling came to my mind. I was disturbed by that thought. 

Ronin noticed my change in behaviour and asked me what's wrong baby? Why are you suddenly lost? This was the time I told him what I was thinking and what was eating me. He said baby I'm not going anywhere I will always be with you. So smile for me, today is our special day, you can't be sad put of all days!

I smiled, he showered me with flowers and chocolates and asked me if I had bought his gift or not so I gave him my gift, a t-shirt and his favourite chocolates. He was so happy and wore the t-shirt that I gave him immediately and he looked so cute.

We ate and drank and chatted about things and the future, how he wanted to get married to me, how we were gonna have a beautiful family. Our day was well spent with lots of making out and me cumming so many times. Yes! he finger fucked me and ate me whole day. I returned the favour by playing with his cock with my hand and made him cum too.

But what I did not know was that was going to be our last date and that was the last time I was going to see him.

He was gone suddenly from my life with no calls or messages. I kept on asking my friends Cassie and Debbie about him but even they did not know where he had vanished. He was out of reach.

Yet again! I was left crushed and broken. I cried missing him asking him to come back into my life. He took my smile with him. 

I kept on praying to God to send him back to me. I kept on calling him but there was no answer. I don't even know what had happened, why he left me all of a sudden so many questions were running through my mind and thus I felt like I was cursed and tenebrous.

Why cannot love love me? Why happiness can't see me happy .I was bone crushed and loneliness was creeping me around.

Will I ever be able to forget him?

Will I ever learn to live without him?

Will he ever come back to me?

There were no answers. All was silent except my muffled crying, everything was silent and empty.

My scary thoughts came true!