Picture Perfect. (Ryden/Rydon one shots)

How Can Something So Well Put Together Be So Torn Apart?

It was Ryan's twenty-fifth birthday and here Brendon was, sitting on the park bench in which he had met his best friend nine years ago. Nine years of friendship. Nine fucking years of friendship. Where was Ryan now? Oh, yeah, exploring 'different musical ideas' with Jon and leaving him in the dust. He could've accepted Panic! At The Disco breaking up. He could've accepted Ryan having different ideas then him. He could have accepted anything Ryan dished out.

Except, of course, Ryan breaking up the friendship as well as the band. Ryan had left him and Spencer alone and now Brendon didn't WANT to continue Panic!. He loved the band with all his heart, but how could he possibly move on without his best friend right beside his side, helping him along the way? He had no motivation. He had nothing. He didn't want to do anything but take up the nasty habit of smoking away his problems. They were the only things that were actually there when he needed them. They wouldn't leave him to explore other musical choices. Besides, Brendon liked the way they hurt him and he liked the way they filled his lungs with poison. He liked the burn on the back of his tongue and he liked the relaxing feeling that finally overtook his body.

Brendon even got married. Anything to forget Ryan. He remembered sitting on this bench, talking to Ryan about marriage. He said he never wanted marriage. Ryan promised he'd never get married. He didn't want to leave Brendon for a wife. He didn't want the band to break up because of the commitment marriage entitles.

Brendon smiled, the memory flooding back to him like it was a few hours ago.

"Bren...I'm never getting married." Ryan blurted, looking over at Brendon with wide, innocent eyes, swinging his legs back and forth from where he was seated upon the back of the bench.

Brendon raised an eyebrow, looking up at his best friend. "Why not? Marriage is beautiful.." He trailed off, not sure how to put his thoughts into words.

Ryan took a deep breath. "Bren, a wedding ring is just a thing that ways you down and occupies your finger. I know I sound a little down, but love is all I'm really after." Ryan looked over to Brendon, hurt flashing in his eyes, almost too quickly for Brendon to identify it. But he did. He always could.

"Ry.." He started but Ryan just shook his head.

"Nevermind, Bren. Just...promise me you'll never get married." Ryan looked over to Brendon, his eyes pleading. He looked so cute, so hurt, so honest. Brendon couldn't help but nod along.

"I promise, Ryro." Brendon breathed and Ryan nodded, smiling.

Brendon snapped out of his memory, rubbing his left ring finger that held the gold band. So much for the promise. Brendon wondered if Ryan had gotten married yet. It's been about a year...so why was Brendon still thinking about him? Ryan probably got over him within weeks.

...

Brendon's hand froze on his stomach when he heard a pounding on his door. He groaned loudly and sighed, climbing off his bed, his shirt abandoned somewhere in his messy apartment as he flung the door open.

"So help me god, Spence-" Brendon cut himself off when his eyes fell on gently brown eyes and a shy smile. Oh nononononono. This can't be happening. This wasn't real. It can't be real. Things like this...they don't happen.

"Bren." The voice breathed as deep brown eyes raked over his half naked body. Brendon shifted a little, uncomfortable.

"Ry." He answered and Ryan's eyes flashed with pain when he noticed the gold band occupying Brendon's left ring finger.

"Bren, you promised-"

"You promised first, Ryan. You said you'd never leave..." Brendon trailed off, his voice breaking in pain.

"Brendon, I-"

"You're sorry? Well, Ryan, so am I." Brendon snapped, attempting to close the door. Ryan was having none of that, however, as he pushed into the apartment.

"Brendon, a wedding ring is a thing that weighs you down and occupies your finger." Ryan stated gently and Brendon feared he was doing to cry. He didn't want this, yet he needed it.

"I know I sound a little down, but love is all I'm really after." Brendon whispered in reply. Ryan looked at him, meeting his eyes.

"Are you in love, Bren?" Ryan asked gently and Brendon was torn. He thought he was...until now. Was he in love?

"Yes." Brendon murmured truthfully.

"With her?" Ryan asked, holding Brendon's chin in his hand and forcing the younger boy to look at him.

"No." Brendon's voice broke as tears ran down his face, the gates finally breaking. Ryan wrapped his arms around his best friend, rocking him back and forth slowly.

"I love you, Bren." Ryan whispered and Brendon nodded. "Always been you. That's why we can't get married..if we can't love each other, why fake it? Why hurt someone else in the process?" Brendon held Ryan tightly to him as he continued sob.

It always was Ryan. He'd always loved Ryan. God, why was he so stupid? He could've prevented all of this...

"I love you too, Ry." Brendon whispered, his voice muffled by Ryan's shirt which was now also wet with tears.