Dynasty

Chapter 4

And all I gave you is gone!

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The atmosphere in the agency turned stone cold as soon as Kunikida finished reading the letter. Eyes drifted to Dazai, waiting for his response to everything that had been said. Dazai had originally been sitting silently, eyes cold and hard as he listened carefully to the meeting, joking attitude nowhere to be seen. Now bloodlust rolled of him in waves as he lowered his head, bangs shadowing his eyes and fists clenching hard enough for his nails to draw blood where they were digging into the palms of his hands. His sudden change in demeanor startled many of the room's participants. Many nerve wrecking seconds of complete silence passed before Dazai began to speak.

"Ranpo-san, I'd like to request that you please find the exact location of where the enemy is hiding Atsushi-kun and Chuuya. You may form small teams to also search potential locations as we don't have much time," he spoke coldly.

"I'd like some time to think," He then stood up from his chair and soundlessly exited the room. No one one stopped him. He was the main game-changer of this battle after all, and his decision was a very difficult one.

Dazai sighed hard, running his hand through his hair, as he leaned against the wall outside the office. He stood in complete silence in the corridor, trying to somewhat organize his thoughts, before straightening his body, walking down the staircase, through the cafe and out of the agency building. His thoughts were packed and disorderly despite all his attempts at rearranging them into a more orderly fashion. Stress and worry was overflowing his thoughts also, causing clogs throughout his normally clean, straight foward and logical thought process.

If he chose to save Atsushi, he would be in the favor of the Agency as Atsushi was their co-worker. However, he would most likely to be hated by the Port Mafia, destroying their current relationships, alliance and potentially starting an all out war between the mafia and agency again. All trust between them would be broken. Vice versa if he chose Chuuya. He'd be in the favour of the mafia but would lose his relationship with the agency.

What option should he choose? If he was thinking logically, then choosing either one of them would be a regrettable idea with detrimental results. If he was thinking emotionally, -and he was majorly inferior when it came to emotions though he'd never admit it out loud- then the only answer would be to choose Atsushi.

As much as he cared about Chuuya, only Atsushi could make his heart race. Only Atsushi could give him a pure, bright smile filled will unadulterated admiration, soft heartedness and love. Only Atsushi could tell him that he was becoming a better person and he would actually feel the need to believe it. Only Atsushi could make him feel things. Only Atsushi could make him feel such warm emotions, when he was literally emotionally constipated with how good he was at understanding and giving out said emotions. Only Atsushi would sit with him during his darkest days filled with nightmares. Only Atsushi would sit with him when his insomnia kept him awake night after night. Only Atsushi would be there by his side when ptsd overran his mind, leaving him deranged and a complete emotional mess, even though he himself was at an such a great risk of ptsd flashbacks, emotional breakdowns and nightmares afterwards. Only Atsushi would bring him food when he new the older hadn't eaten. Only Atsushi would have bandages on hand to give him whenever he had regressed into cutting. Only Atsushi. Only Atsushi. And it would always only be Atsushi.

However, no matter how much he had improved when it came to showing his feelings to others honestly, the logical side of himself that he been using practically his entire life, always showed itself and took over his thought process first. This time though, the emotions he was feeling also had a say, even if it was a tiny bit, not just the logical side like it used to be. Therefore, his mind could only come to one conclusion.