the runaway| h.p x reader au

𝟏𝟕| 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝟐𝟓𝒕𝒉

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𝒊 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏

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So yeah. I'm kinda pissed. I wake up only to find my whole as family gone on Christmas Eve. Am I kevin McAllister? We'll never know. Anyway I see a note that says they'll be back at noon. SURPRISE SHAWWWTY. They aren't . Not really a surprise. Then I get a text saying they aren't coming back for FOUR DAYS. K um..? Y'all really trying to make me relive that childhood trauma of being abandoned and alone for anything? Rude. So guess what. No don't guess I'll say it. THE HOT NEIGHBOR TEXTED ME. Yeah. He's hot. Annoying, arrogant, and so oblivious I feel like sometimes it like being friends with a four year old. But hot...whatever...

anyway im so done with everybody just shut up barbara i really don't care that your lawn mower stopped working last week and now you have rats. First of all, you have four lawn mowers which one? And secondly, THE TWO ARENT EVEN RELATED YOU HAVE RATS IN UR HOUSE BECAUSE UR FILTHY AND NEVER CLEAN. YOU THROW YOUR DIRTY ASS SPAGHETTI BOWLS IN YOUR YARD. THATS PROBABLY WHY YOUR LAWNMOWER STOPPED WORKING BECAUSE YOU RAN OVER PORCELAIN. THATS WHY YOU HAVE RATS.

PLUS IM STILL PISSED THAT CASS TOLD JAMES (the hot neighbors dad(also a dilf) THAT I WAS GONE TOO BECAUSE I COULD HAVE BEEN MAKING CHRISTMAS COOKIES WITH HERMAN, CARROT CROTCH, AND THE HOT MF NEXT DOOR. so I was just a sitting in bed and I heard hard knock life from Annie.. assholes. Ron and the hot bitch next door were dancing around the radio like idiots. Then herman peeked out the window and told them to come inside. BUT SOME RED HEAD POPPED UP NEXT TO HER AND GUESS WHO IT WAS. THE HOT NEIGHBORS MILF OF A MOM. kill. me. now. So now it's one in the morning on Christmas Day and the only company i have are two cardboard cut outs of Chris evans and tom hiddleston. Also dilfs. so- hold on the hot neighbor texted me-   

k maybe I shouldn't be mad at cass bc now im going to the neighbors for christmas. honestly i don't even think im catholic i don't even really believe in god but hey.. it's Santa day not Jesus day. We had this atheist kid at the orphanage, also happened to be my best friend, and he would shit on anyone who told him he can't celebrate Christmas because it was "jesus' birthday". I guess jesus was actually born during the harvest in the fall and that Christmas was originally called "the winter solstice festival" or something and that the church nick-named it Christmas. i dunno im not a religious person i just liked the candied watermelon the orphanage lady would make. that shit slapped harder than she did.

woah i got off track. well I'm just gonna slam a monster ultra zero and then take a shower.
heart-attack
parents-left
harry-potter
wait-what
hotel-trivago
k bye skanks<33

[second person pov]

    You saved the word document you had just ranted on and closed your laptop. After getting up and stretching you made your way to the bathroom and turned water to the capitalized H. mmm scolding hot.
you hopped into the shower and did the usual, then put moisturizer and a serum on your face for clear skin. And finally you put your hair up. "Alright time to go to bed." You whispered to yourself, you went back to your room and instead watched Loki, because Tom hiddleston.

   After a few episodes you slumped over and fell asleep..

[first person pov]

beep beep beep.

   I popped my head out from under my blanket and realized it was eight in the morning. I'm supposed to be at the potters by eight twenty. Well shit. I slowly got out of bed, I'm still tired and I really don't care. My hair looks fine I'll just redo the bun. I put on mascara and that's it because im already hot and don't need makeup right now. Sweatpants, a tank top, shoes, and a zip up later and im out the door. It's eight fifteen, im early but not too early.