A Heart Worth Healing

Chapter 20

A few days later, Maggie left to visit her sister and return to Thurston. Kirsty had to assure her many times that she would be all right.

And she was all right, for a while. She spent a great deal of time cleaning out her closets and the kitchen cupboards. She wondered why she bothered to keep things so clean when no one else was in the house except herself. She hoped housework would keep her mind uncluttered, but nothing could stop her from thinking about Derek. Every time the phone rang she knew it was him. But she was too scared to answer his calls. She found excuses to leave the house so she would not have to feel guilty about avoiding him.

Kirsty realized how empty her life was and how hard it was to be alone when the only thing she could think of to do was wander around shopping malls and watch other people. She could feel their lives pulsing in significance while hers remained dull and spiritless. She thought of volunteering or getting a part-time job, but she wasn't sure what she would be good at and if she felt up to interacting with other people at the moment.

One night, she was sitting by the fire reading a book when she decided to have a party. She planned everything in her head - right down to her underwear. She decided she was going to feel alive and wanted for one night, if nothing else.

The next day she was very busy. She scrubbed the patio tiles, wanting them to look perfect. She hung tiny white lights among the trees in the garden. She knew they would look like stars when it became dark outside. She wanted to create her own world where nothing could touch her.

Next, she went shopping for food. She had not cooked for herself for a long time and was not accustomed to choosing what she liked. She spent the afternoon cooking some appetizers and cleaning the living room. Everything had to be perfect. She found an old case of champagne in the pantry, which was her favourite kind. There was no use in saving it for a special occasion; after all, there was no time like the present.

When it was time for Kirsty to get dressed, she had a long, hot, luxurious bubble bath. She almost fell asleep, but luckily, the phone rang and woke her up. She ignored the phone and got out of the tub.

Kirsty put on her favourite dress. It was the one she had worn on her first romantic evening at Thurston. She remembered how the rhinestones had glittered like the lights through the trees in the garden. It was no use trying to forget how wonderful that night had been. Why not celebrate the memory of it? The dress clung to her svelte figure and made her feel beautiful. She spent a long time brushing her hair and putting on her makeup. After she splashed on some perfume, she was ready to celebrate.

Kirsty felt like a queen as she descended the spiral staircase. Nothing was going to dampen her spirits tonight. She went over to the dining room and inspected the table, where she had placed all the appetizers. She poured herself a tall glass of ice-cold champagne.

Just before she toasted herself, Kirsty saw something that caught her eye. An idea formed in her mind as she realized that it was pretty ludicrous to toast oneself. She walked to the foyer and grabbed the coat rack. She carried it out onto the terrace, giggling to herself. She dressed it up in Derek's old clothes and it seemed life-like in the dark.

When Kirsty plugged in the white lights the effect was quite romantic. The garden was bathed in a filmy white light. Kirsty felt proud of herself as she picked up her champagne.

"Now," she said, as she walked out to the coat rack, "I will make a toast to you, the only guest who knows how much fun we're going to have." She swallowed the entire glass full of champagne in one quick motion. She knew it would rush straight to her head, but she did not care.

"You need a name," she said thoughtfully, staring at the coat rack.

"I'll call you George," she decided as she turned and walked back into the house.