tw:season 3 spoilers
Levi's hands gripped the harness as he pushed on through the debris inside of wall Maria. The villages seemed to slur together and all he could do was push on. The destruction that was caused by the operation to reclaim wall Maria made his stomach clench and his eyes water. Everything was silent and his ears pounded as he neared the area where Erwin was left.
Erwin, Levi thought. He was humanity's hope, the only person who could have saved the world with his brilliant mind. He had saved Levi from the depths of hell. Levi trusted his judgment whole heartedly even though he knew the man would have sent him to his death for the sake of humans.
At first Levi had thought that Erwin was some sort of mastermind, an inhuman being that had been smart enough to save the human race, but he was wrong, so very wrong. Erwin was a man trapped by his own childish dream. He only moved forward because he was high on something. There was nothing inhuman about Erwin, he was bound just like the rest of those damned creatures. Erwin was the cat that was killed by his own curiosity.
When he had finally reached the house that Erwin lay on top of he tied up his horse and carriage and used his odm gear to make it to the top. Levi had brought a sling to carry Erwin in but once he spotted what was presumably his partner he almost let out an ear-piercing scream.
The man that he had devoted his life to was now reduced to bones. There was barely anything left and there was no point in Levi bringing a sling. It didn't matter to him though, he forced himself to pick up what remained of Erwin and carefully place it in the sling, being careful not to lose anything else.
It took all of his strength not to lose his composure and break down in front of Erwins remains and at some point tears slipped down his cheeks but he made no sound.
Once he finally was able to put Erwin in the carriage he sat on his horse for what could have been hours staring over the wall only to see the blue sky above. It was strangely peaceful where he was, everything living in the area had beer killed off in the fight and Levi was probably the only living thing for miles.
The silence slowly started to eat at him. It was somehow painful and deafening so he brought his horse to a trot so there was some sort of noise as he thought. His mind drifted to the ocean, it was beautiful, the way it stretched out forever, covering the earth in thick blue waves.
"Hey, Erwin." Levi choked out, it was only now that he noticed how sore his throat was.
"I saw the ocean." The only response Levi got was the rhythmic clopping of his horses hooves but he continued. "It went on forever and it was so deep that I couldn't see the bottom. I wish you could have been there with me, darling." Levi had to stop talking because if he had continued it would have become crying.
As the silence slowly dragged out Levi became aware of how Erwins bones catered against each other and it only made his heart sink more. It reminded him of how alone he actually was.
"The ocean was blue, Erwin." Levi smiled at the memory of the seemingly everlasting water. "It reminded me of your eyes, the thing was so damn captivating." Levi cursed trying to keep his emotions inside. "There was no end to it and at one point I thought I could see you with me in the reflection of the water." Levi once again held back his emotions at the memory but it was too much for him. There was no way he was going to be able to mask his feelings anymore.
The hot sticky tears rolled down his cheeks and his hiccuppy sobs filled the air. His fingers trembled as his horse trotted on though the terrain. "I miss you, darling." Levi breathed out, blinking back his tears, trying to compose himself.
The rest of the painful journey back from wall Maria Levi cried into his horse's neck trying to seek comfort with no success. The ride seemed like torture to him because of how painfull it was to not get any kind of response when he spoke. He knew no one would answer his cries but he still wanted to hear Erwin's safe asserting voice he had gotten used to.
Deep down Levi knew, he knew nothing really lasts forever and even though he was humanity's strongest he would never be able to change that fact. He was helpless and this world was cruel.
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