To Infinity and Beyond

Wherever and Whenever

Mark's POV

"You drunk-kissed her?"

"And then you told her that you wouldn't ever forgive her?"

"Yes, something like that." A soft whisper left my lips as I gave a shameful nod.

"When did you turn into such a moron, Mark?"

After last night's encounter, I drank myself to sleep and then woke up with a pounding head and guilty heart. Looking in the mirror, I couldn't even recognise myself. I took off and drove aimlessly on the road for hours, and didn't realise when I was pulling up in Rose' driveway.

"You hurt her, Mark." She let out a deep exhale, disappointment evident in her tone.

I was at lost of words. An uncomfortable silence flowed through the room. Minutes passed, but at last I was able to muster some courage and acknowledged how right she was. "I am sorry, Rose. I wasn't really thinking. I saw her with him. She was..."

"She was what?" Rose spat.

"She was looking breathtaking. I just couldn't stop looking at her. And the more I looked at her, the more it hurt. I didn't know how much I had missed her until I saw her yesterday. I just couldn't control myself. That guy Chris, he.. he took away what was mine and..." I heaved a deep sigh as if a heavy burden was lifted off my chest. There, I said it. I missed her and I couldn't stand her being with another guy.

"You don't own her. Neither does Chris. She is her own person, and she can be with whoever she wants." Rose deadpanned.

"I know, as I said I wasn't thinking straight." Raking my hand through my hair, I just shut my eyes in defeat. Last night was a blunder. I should have skipped the damn party like I initially planned to.

"I told you. You were bottling up your feelings Mark, and it did blow up in your face." Rose mirrored my defeat and sank back on the kitchen counter. She knew had fucked up bad this time.

"So when will you do it?" After several minutes, she asked nonchalantly.

"Do what?"

"Apologise. What else? You need to apologise. In person. Soon."

"Are you kidding me? Never. Rose, I cannot even face her. I am so ashamed of what I did. I just can't.." I got up from my chair and started pacing across her kitchen.

"I won't be able to look her in the eye..."

"You have to apologise, Mark. There is no way out."

"But, she must be hating my existence by now.."

"I don't care, Mark. You reap what you sow. And it's time you have a real mature conversation with her. The one that begins with, I am sorry Alice."

I averted my gaze from her dreadful ones, and just nodded in agreement. Deep down, I knew she was right.

***

After the torturous morning with Rose, the rest of the day at work was equally painful. Dragging myself through it, I finally reached home in the evening.

I looked through the house, and after scanning all living areas, found Mia and Tracy creating a ruckus in Mia's closet. Their bickering was audible outside in the hallway as well.

"Mia, I am sure we discarded the hat you are looking for at the end of spring last year."

"No Tracy. I would never do that, it was my favourite. I have to take it with me to the Student's Camp. Now come here and help me find it."

"Why don't you listen to me? I remember clearly.."

"Please Tracy, stop being lazy and help me here, will you?"  The two were so engrossed in arguing, I don't think they heard me enter the room.

"Hey Dada, you are home." A muffled sound from inside the wardrobe reached my ears.

"Wow. You guys have created quite a mess." Scanning the sorry state of Mia's room, I muttered mainly to myself, but I bet Tracy heard me as she gave me her typical eye-roll.

"Tell me about it! I am not going to help her clean after." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Dada, I lost my favourite hat. I can't find it anywhere."

"Bunny, we can go shopping this weekend and buy another one for you. Relax baby." I caressed her back.

This was one of those days when I felt that Mia was growing way too fast. She had her mood swings, and I felt scared if I would always be able to keep up with her. Every girl needed her Mother. A confidante, a friend who could help her through fashion emergencies or difficult situations where she panics over little things. I was clueless about a lot of things, but I was trying to learn. For Mia's sake.

"No dada. We can't go this weekend. We are heading for the Students Camp this Friday. Did you forget already?"

"Of course, I remember." I lied.

Mia didn't seem convinced at all. She stepped closer, and her arms engulfed me in a warm hug, "Dada, promise me you won't cancel last minute?"

I had forgotten about Mia's upcoming Student Camp. I will have to make Serena clear my schedule. Ever since the carnival, Mia had been scared to head out anywhere alone. Specially, when going to crowded places or public events.

Even though the Student Camp would have most of her teachers accompany her, and students from many NYC schools were participating, I still planned to reside in a nearby hotel while she attended the four-day event to give her the assurance she desperately needed.

"Of course Bunny. I would never cancel on you." I kissed the top of her head and hugged her back in a tight embrace.

I will always be there for you, Mia. Wherever and whenever you would want me to be.