To Infinity and Beyond

He found me

Alice's POV

It was Saturday morning already, and I barely slept a wink. Tossing in bed and wrestling with quilts were two out of the three things I did last night.
The third, however, drained me emotionally. I was awake all night, beating myself up with guilt. Whenever I remembered the hurt in Mark's eyes and the disappointment that donned his face, regret engulfed me, over and over again.

Out of exhaustion, it was not until dawn, that I finally drifted to sleep.

It was ten am already, and I decided to give up the comfort of my bed. I stretched every limb, straightened up my back, and tiptoed to my bedroom window. The moment I opened it, the earthly aroma filled my nostrils, bringing in small traces of calm that my body desperately needed to function. We were experiencing the wettest month of the year here in NYC, and the weather was, unfortunately, the only pleasant thing in my life at the moment.

I had no appointments this weekend, which practically meant a lot of free time with very little to do. I began with my morning routine and started with some basic household chores. It was almost noon when my doorbell rang, Elsie had planned to join me for lunch today.

"Hi, Alice. Sorry, I got a bit late, there was quite a queue at the Chinese take-out today. Took me almost an hour." Elsie greeted me with the warmest smile as she handed me the packed food boxes and stepped inside my apartment.

"No problem sweety, thank you for bringing lunch. Come have a seat, I will fix you something to drink." I took her coat and gestured her to move to the living room.

"So, how was your yoga class today?"

"I skipped. I slept in." I was brewing both of us a hot cup of coffee.

"Really? That's a first. Why what happened?"

"Well.. Mark happened." I handed her the mug, and inhaled deeply before taking a sip of my freshly brewed coffee and allowed the caffeine to slowly hit my system.

"Again? What about him now? Are you still obsessing over him?" I knew she already thought I was too over-sensitive when it came to him, and I was bracing myself for another round of reprimands. I began explaining everything that happened after Britney's dinner party, including our confrontation last night.

She listened to me attentively allowing me to pour my heart out. That was one of the best traits Elsie owned, in a world so noisy, she was a great listener.

"I see. God, you guys are so messed up." She started reasoning with the situation, "you shouldn't have mentioned his wife, Alice. His past, in particular, you have zero knowledge about it."

"I agree Elsie, but he had been such a jerk to me, I don't know what got into me, and I just lashed out without thinking." I got up and started pacing up and down my living room, "he was judging me behind my back, and he never called me, when he was expected to. He kind of hurts me unknowingly."
Ranting about how irked I felt around him, I kept blabbering until I realised Elsie was now standing next to me.

"Alice, stop. Take a step back. Are you sure you are completely honest here?" She gave a gentle squeeze on my shoulders, and then reframed her question, "do you have feelings for this guy?"

I was taken aback by her words.

Did I have feelings for Mark? Could it be the reason why everything he says or does affects me so much?

"Honestly, I don't know Elsie. It's too soon to say. You know I am usually very polite and careful around people, but this guy is getting under my skin. You were right. He has some kind of strange power over me."