Dukeceit Week (7/9 - 7/15)

Dukeceit Week | Day 5 | Stuck like Glue

Pairing : Romantic Dukeceit

Summary : Janus and Remus have issues with telling the truth, both to everyone and themselves so they try to help each other out

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They lied. Everyone did, didn't they? But they lied the most. No one cared for their feelings anyway, so why would it matter how many lies they told about their true emotions deep down?

Drip. Drip. Drip. Small droplets of water fell from the faucet in the sink. Janus looked at his complexion in the mirror. His scales were peeling. His face was red and irritated. He reached into the cabinet and pulled out a container of skin lotion. He clicked open the cap and dispensed some onto his fingers, gently rubbing it into his skin.

"This is fine." Janus muttered to himself. He knew he was lying. He let himself get out of hand. He locked himself up in his room for about a month. No cleaning. No working. No nothing. He told himself he was okay but he knew deep down he wasn't. He hadn't seen Remus in months. After moving to the light, he hadn't allowed himself back into the darkness. He missed Remus and he could really only imagine how bad the gremlin was doing considering how bad he was himself. 

Janus locked eyes with his reflection. He felt tears well up in his eyes and he snapped his fingers, the mirror cracking and bursting into thousands of tiny pieces. He watched the reflective surface fall down into the sink. He'd clean it up later. He stepped out of bathroom, rubbing his eyes.

"Janus!" He jumped at the voice and looked around. He noticed the scenery looked oddly familiar to Remus' room. When did he get here? 

He snapped out of his daze when he noticed a figure sitting on the object in front of him. It was dark. Dirty. Gross. Tired. Distraught. But that was perfect. The figure moved into the light, giving Janus a clearer view of who was once his best friend. Tears filled Janus' eyes once more.

"It's you." Remus mumbled, seemingly not believing what his eyes saw. "It's really you." He said, moving closer and grabbing Janus' face in his hands. Janus froze as he watched Remus' eyes scan over him, hot tears dripping down his face. He felt his head tilted up. To the side. Down. He felt Remus' breath against his neck as he moved around him. 

Once Remus seemed convinced that this wasn't a hallucination he hugged Janus tightly. 

"I thought you were gone. I told myself you'd come back but I was convinced that was just a lie. I thought you truly were gone for good. The intrusive thoughts. They became more and more repetitive. More about you. I had no one to talk to but I convinced myself that it was okay. That the thoughts were lying to me. I stayed in my room. Waiting. Hoping that one day you'd miss me so much you came back. And you're here. You're here you're here you're here you're here!" Remus rambled, jittering.

Janus didn't know what to say. He'd been doing the same thing. He thought Remus didn't want him there so he waited until he figured it'd be a good time to finally reintroduce himself into the darkness. His thoughts crowded out the good ones but he told himself he would be fine. That the words he heard were lying to him. When he spoke with the others they were always worried that something was wrong with him. They asked and made offers to help but Janus always said that he was okay. Because that's what he had forced himself to believe. But now that he was here. Now that he was really here. He realized that he was way worse off than he had originally thought. He sobbed his eyes out, leaning into Remus' grasp. 

Remus allowed himself to grin for the first time he had in months. He held Janus as tight as he could, crying with him.

Janus knew he couldn't keep lying. If he was in this bad of a state just by seeing someone he'd been wanting to for what felt like years he couldn't keep saying that he was okay. Because he wasn't. And he could tell Remus wasn't either. But now they were together. They could build off of that. 

"Janus I realized something." Remus said, quickly moving to hold Janus' head in his hands. He placed his hands on top of the Duke's, looking into his eyes.

"I have too." Janus responded.

"You go first!" They both shouted at the same time. They flushed and looked away for a moment. They both muttered apologies before turning back to each other. Janus noticed how bloodshot Remus' eyes were and the amount of grease in his hair. He cupped the Duke's face in his hands, grimacing at how oily his skin was to the touch.

They stood there. Staring. Waiting. No one spoke for a good while. Soon enough they both gulped down their nerves, shouting out at the same time.

"I love you!" 

They were both taken aback. Their hands never moved away from the other. They kept a tight hold in fact, gripping onto one another even tighter. Remus moved closer, his eyes wide and full of wonder. Janus watched. 

"You look like trash Jannie." Remus mumbled to him. Janus snickered.

"Like you're any better." Janus responded, holding his head, running a hand up through Remus' thick hair. Remus melted against Janus' touch, holding his waist.

"Why'd you ever leave Jannie. You said you'd come back right after and you never did. No one likes a liar, Jannie." Remus croaked out, his eyes watering.

"You're a liar yourself Rem. You convinced yourself it was okay to not take care of yourself for so long." Janus scolded, gently cradling Remus' head. Remus jutted out his lower lip, looking away.

"You did the same thing. We both look horrible." Remus said with a pout. Janus sighed. 

"I'm aware." He said, looking away as well. He felt his head swiftly turned back towards Remus' direction and pair of lips pressed to his own. They felt chapped and dry but they were also warm and comforting. Janus pushed up into it, kissing back sweetly. 

They never wanted it to end. Remus' head cleared out, emptying out all the thoughts he had had in the time Janus had been gone. He allowed himself to relax. He really was back.

Soon enough they did pull away, their lips soaked in spit. Janus pulled his hands out of Remus' hair, looking down at them. He sat himself down, awareness shrouding over him. 

Remus sat down with him. 

"What's it like with the light sides?" Remus asked, wrapping his arms around Janus.

"Horrible. Everything sucks without you there. I tried to tell myself that the lights were great. That I was happy but in truth, I'm not. I found that out when I looked at myself in the mirror earlier. It's better to be here with you. For both of us, I can tell." Janus told him, and every part was the truth.

"Even though they're a whole lot nicer to you than I could've ever been?" Remus asked.

"You're the nicest side ever, Remus. We should stay together. We clearly found it difficult to be away from the other. We let ourselves go and now look at us! We're disgusting." Janus mumbled. "Well. More disgusting than usual I suppose."

"Do you wanna shower with me then?" Remus suggested. "Because I guess even I'm getting a little uncomfortable in the grime." 

Janus smiled, giving Remus a quick hug before standing up, watching Remus stand as well. The two locked eyes on one another again.

"I hated myself. For leaving you. I refused to talk to anyone until I found my way back to you. I didn't mean to come here but now I'm so glad that I have. Let's go get cleaned up. We deserve it." Janus said, running a hand through Remus' greasy hair. Remus giggled.

"It's good that you got here when you did. I was getting ready to just fully shut down. I refuse to lie to myself about how everything makes me feel now. If I feel upset I'll have you there to help me out. Just like it used to be." Remus chirped. Janus couldn't help the smile that crossed his face.

They shared a quick kiss. 

"Mhm. Just like it used to be. Where the truth never hid itself. How did we ever let ourselves get so out of sorts?" Janus asked.

Remus shrugged. "We weren't there for each other. We refused to believe that there was anything good left after we'd already lost one another. We've gotta be stuck like glue. From now till forever." Remus said, rubbing his face and frowning about the oil that rubbed off on his hand. Janus laughed.

"Yeah. Stuck like glue."