Oftentimes I struggle with finding the right words, always at the tip of my tongue yet still jumbled in my mind. Just as often I tend to fail to understand how and what I feel, whether it be joy, upset or affection. But with you? With you it seems to be a clearer thought. A more straight forward answer. When I'm with you I know I'm happy, and when we're apart I'm familiar with the sadness of missing you. When you talk about other people I know the burn of jealousy, and when you confirm someone else has more of you than I then I'm sure of my grief. When somebody hurts you or puts you down I know the anger in my blood, and when I remember that I'm in no place to be as protective as I feel towards you I can even put a label to the emptiness that consumes me. Even amongst my stubbornness and constant denial, I can find myself admitting the fact that I'm in love when it comes to you.
And I know that love is just a shout into the void, a word of promise or pain depending on your flip of the coin. I know that it's a commitment to both the relationship and the person. I know it's both the best thing in the world and the most terrifying leap into the dark you could ever take. But if it's with you, I'd do anything to have it. If it's with you, I'd walk miles upon miles. It it's with you, I'd jump off mountains and cliffs. If it's with you, I'd float high above the clouds. And if it's not with you, I'd do to it all just for you. If it meant that in the end I got to hold your hand and hold you close, I'd build palaces with my writing. If it meant I got to kiss your cheek and tell you I love you, I'd speak it all into reality. If it meant I got to fall asleep and wake up next to you, hell I'd even build them myself just for us. If you gave me the chance I'd dedicate my life to make you happy, no matter the cost. Because even if I can only hope for you to return my affections someday, I'm willing to shout into the void for as long as it takes for you to hear me. I love you. I am in love with you. Even if you don't feel the same I always will, and I'll be waiting to hear your voice in the void with me.
For you, I'd wait an eternity.
