The break upper

Chapter 5-10

Camila sighs, clearly debating whether or not she should tell the truth. When she finally speaks, her tone and expression are as honest as Lauren has ever seen. "You may not know this, but homosexuality is still frowned upon in the business world."

"Well you didn't strike me as one to cower under disapproving looks."

"I'm sorry to disappoint," Camila replies bitterly.

"I'm sorry that you don't allow yourself to be who you truly are."

Camila heaves a dejected sigh and lowers her gaze. "If only it were that simple."

Silence falls upon them once more. Lauren feels like their most significant words are the ones that fill the silence, never leaving their lips. Maybe they are doomed to never grow past subtext. An idea pops into her mind and she can't prevent it from developing into a decision.

"I'll stop."

Camila's gaze moves up to find Lauren's. "What do you mean?"

"I'll stop bothering you." As she is saying it, Lauren knows it's the right decision. "I'll stop bothering Nate. I'll just... stop."

Camila narrows her eyes, shocked look on her face. "You never bother me, Lauren. We are friends."

"Are we?" Lauren's whispered laugh is bitter, disillusioned. "Because we keep going back to this moment, saying we're friends, when in reality all our interactions are based on flirting and almost kisses. We can't keep going like this."

Whatever she does, if she keeps interacting with Camila— Lauren knows she will end up breaking the brunette's heart.

"But Lauren—"

"If we keep doing this, we will regret it."

"You would regret kissing me?"

"I would regret—" Ruining my job. Still having to do it. Breaking your heart. Breaking my own. "I would regret not doing the right thing."

Camila simply averts her gaze from Lauren's, jaw locked, refusing to say anything else. Lauren understands she will get no further response. With a heavy sigh, she leaves the closet, leaving Camila alone in it.

The party is shut down abruptly and everyone is confused. Lauren's excuse is that she got sick, so she doesn't even have to say goodbye to Miller and, more importantly, Camila. Once everyone has filed out of the ship, Bellamy comes rushing into the bedroom.

His expression is that of deep concern, eyes widening at the sight of Lauren lying in bed, gaze fixed on the ceiling, looking utterly miserable. "Are you okay?"

Lauren shakes her head. "I'm done."

Bellamy frowns, the meaning of the blonde's words lost on him. "Done doing what?"

The blonde waves her arms aimlessly. "This. Targeting Nate." She turns to her friend. "What are we doing, Bellamy? I thought we were supposed to do something good. We were supposed to expose the cheaters, the bad guys. Nate and Camila aren't bad. They're great people, who happen to be gay, and need each other in order to be taken seriously by all the bigots in command of the business world. That was not our purpose. When did we change?"

The man sighs, deep frown in place. "We didn't change. We simply started accepting money for what we already did."

"I didn't have to sleep with Finn. I didn't have to sleep with anyone up until two years ago. Why do I do it now?"

"Why are you doubting this now?" he grunts. "Why not when we went professional?"

"I don't know," Lauren shrugs helplessly. "I honestly don't know." Bellamy walks up to the bed, sitting on the edge and taking Lauren's hand in his own. "I was so caught up in the pride of exposing the bad people, and then the money, that at some point— I lost sight of what we wanted to do in the first place."