Rings and other pretty things

Chapter 3 (In which Sadie is the mom friend)

It was an unspoken rule that chat wasn't supposed to know about Chumps trip to Florida. Both of them had been dancing around mentioning the topic, plus their chats never questioned it so they didn't have to straight up lie to their fans. Chump didn't mention it because they wanted it to be a surprise. STAR didn't mention it because he was pretty sure if he tried to he would spontaneously combust.
He had been feeling like a walking personified version of that "this is fine" meme, you know, the one with the dog inside the burning house where everything definitely wasn't fine. Still he managed to keep it together for the most part. Only really panicking if he thought too hard about how Chump would be in his house in 137 hours. But who was counting? Definitely not STAR. No sir.
STAR was standing in front of his bathroom mirror gazing into his own eyes as if they would suddenly allow him to realize what he's been missing. With a angry sigh he let his head hang, staring at how his knuckles had become white from gripping either side of his sink. He needed to relax, anymore pressure and the sink might just be permanently damaged.
He spun on his heel and walked over to his shower, spinning the dial until the water inside was burning hot. It didn't take long for the temperature to feel right and he stepped in, welcoming the feeling of warm water on his skin. Now feeling content with where he was he came to a conclusion.
He needed to figure out this whole Chump situation, and he wouldn't leave the shower until he did. The water hit his back washing away the grime of the day, but also the layers of denial that had been building up for the past few months. Truth be told, STAR already knew the issue. He had for a while. He just didn't want to admit it to himself. Because admitting it would mean change.
STAR liked Chump, liked him in a way friends aren't supposed to. Liked him in a way that he knew could never be reciprocated and it made his heart ache. He had never been one for romance in the first place so why now had his heart decided to go and mess everything up. He still had a small shred of hope that he was just extremely enthusiastic about their friendship. Although it wasn't likely it was comforting.
He flipped around so he could actually effectively wash his body, not wanting the shower to go to waste by just standing there for thirty minutes. This shift in how he was standing forced the water to hit his face, wanting to be free of this slight inconvenience he stepped back until his back hit the wall. Subconsciously he slid down it. STAR had only really done this once before. Back after a particularly mean hate comment and he needed the room to sulk. An hour or two of sulking and then ranting to Sadie had gotten rid of all his negative emotions back then. Maybe it would do the same now. He stayed in the shower until the water turned cold and his skin was wrinkled.

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After drying off STAR had made his way to his computer. Checking discord and realizing with relief that Sadie was active. Indicated by the green dot hovering over their profile.

STAR: Hey Sadie, can you call?

Sadie: Yeah! Give me two seconds

A small smile worked its away across his features. STAR was very thankful for Sadie and her friendship, they always knew what to do to cheer him up. Knowing Sadie would take longer than two seconds he took the opportunity to take in the current state of his room. So maybe he hadn't been taking the best care of his surroundings, but having an emotional war in your head over your unrequited love for your best friend was a pretty good excuse.
The window across the room was slightly open, allowing a light breeze to flutter in and around the small room. His bed was unmade just like it had been for the last three days, perfectly complimenting the paper balls still scattered on his floor from his activities he chose over stream. He did manage to clean the markers off his bedside table though. Now they sat neatly stacked next to his cat ears on his desk. The cat ears were a joke gift from Sadie after chat labeled him as a cat boy. Going as far as changing his catchphrase to say "kitty galaxy" instead of "chaotic galaxy". No matter how much he tried to convince his friend he hated the gift he couldn't help but leave the ears proudly on display, cherishing the gesture of friendship they represented.
Almost as if she could hear his thoughts Sadies name popped up on his computer screen, indicating that they were calling. Eagerly STAR answered the call ready to dump out all of his feelings to his waiting friends ears. "Okay what's wrong?" Sadie didn't hesitate when asking the question. STAR was slightly in awe at her ability to pick up on his mood changes.
"What? Nothings wrong." He didn't think it was a huge issue, therefore it was fine and not a big deal! STAR most definitely was not freaking out. He was being totally chill and cool and he would tell Sadie just that.
   "I'm being totally chill and cool."  STAR said, you know like a liar. His chain finding a new home between his teeth as he bit down softly on the metal, inviting the metallic taste into his mouth.
"The fact you just willingly said "totally chill" is a dead giveaway you're panicking STAR" Sadie dead panned. They were right of course, but they didn't have to be so blunt about it.
STAR bit down harder in response, sighing lightly before continuing. "It's Chump, Sadie." He heard her confusion through the silence that flowed through the call. The only noise being the occasional shift of metal clacking against STARs teeth.
"STAR if you keep biting on that your dentist will hate you, how do you have good teeth with awful habits like that?" She laughed before pressing on in the conversation. Sadie made things easy, providing the easy conversations he craved. "What's wrong with Chump? Did you guys have a fight?"
Fighting would be easier than what was actually going on, and he felt slightly guilty for wishing that was the real issue. "No, we're not fighting".
"Then what's going on?"
"I like him."
Sadies nose scrunched in thought. "Yeah, so do I. But how is that an issue?". STAR mentally face palmed at their deductive skills.
"No Sadie, I like Chump" This time he put extra emphasis on the word like. Cringing as it rolled off his tongue, tasting unusually bitter for such a usually positive word.
The call remained silent for a beat before he heard their abrupt intake of breath. He closed his eyes knowing Sadie understood now. Yes he did want their support, but it didn't make him any less embarrassed about admitting his feelings.
"Oh" Their voice was gentle and it felt like they saw how fragile this topic was already. This is why they were his go to person.
"Yeah"
"And that's why you've been acting different and missing streams" She filled in all the blanks on her own, saving STAR from having to explain himself further. "You know STAR, this may feel awful and confusing but I promise it isn't the end of the world. Chump is an understanding person, you of all people should know that. There's no need to worry."
In theory she sounded correct, and maybe she was. But it wasn't nearly as mellow as they made it sound. It was so much more complicated than that. His dark circles being physical proof of that fact.
"I know, just it hurts you know?" Sadie cocked her head slightly to the side upon hearing his words, the hair she previously had tucked behind her ear dropped down falling onto her shoulders with the rest of it.
"Why does it have to hurt? You don't know how Chump would feel about all this. If you feel like you can't tell him yet, I understand that but there has to be ways of distracting yourself from all the anxiety in that time. Like streaming! Or drawing! Even reading would help!" Sadie really had a way of making everything feel light as a feather, everything that had been weighting STAR down for the last few days suddenly felt a whole lot more manageable.
"You're right, thank you so much. For everything" The two shared twin smiles.
"Yeah yeah, I'm great and you love me. I know. Now go clean your room. I can see the bed behind you and don't even want to think about how the rest looks" STAR scoffed and dramatically rolled his eyes, feigning fake annoyance.
"Fine, whatever loser. Bye" She giggled and waved "Bye STAR" and the call disconnected. Sadie did make some good points, not the cleaning his room thing though that was something he was going to pretend he didn't hear.
He could use a distraction though. His hands reached to his keyboard, hesitantly typing the letters out. He took a deep breath and held it before summoning all his courage to press down on the enter key. This was wrong, and he knew that. But it seemed like the only thing interesting enough to keep his mind away from the negative thoughts plaguing his mind lately. Plus Sadie did say reading was a good way to get the job done.
He allowed himself to chuckle when he saw the amount of results that came up, he didn't know there was this many. Who knew there were over one hundred juststruck3d fanfics? Not STAR.