Table for One

table for fifteen

. . .

smile

07.04.2021

. . .

all people are equal
in the eyes of death.

you can try to cheat it. but it'll catch up eventually. maybe you'll die a peaceful death. go to sleep one night, only to never wake up again.

or maybe it'll be tragic. a brisk night, with an ambulance rushing towards the local hospital after you suddenly began to seize. maybe the emt's rush you into the building, rain pouring as they pushed you, strapped onto a stretcher, through the double doors. maybe you pass a nurse with a clipboard, who happens to be your daughter. maybe she hurries after you, only to be shooed out of the room you were placed in. maybe she paces frantically outside the door, calling everyone from her partner to her other parent - your spouse - biting her lip anxiously as she awaits a statement from a doctor. maybe she's finally allowed in, and she darts to your side, her partner and children right behind her. maybe your spouse hobbles in not a moment later, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. maybe your grandchildren are climbing into your bed, hugging you goodbye, the youngest simply saying good night because they haven't yet grasped the concept of death. maybe they're taking their last photos with you, trying to make the most of your last breaths. maybe they're holding your hand; squeezing it tight, as if it would bring back the gleam in your eyes and the pep in your step. maybe your son brings his guitar, singing softly as tears stream silently down his face. maybe you're crying too, not wanting to bring sadness to your family. and maybe you call them all over to you, and say i love you for one last time. maybe you tell them not to be sad, even though you know they won't listen. maybe you try to comfort them, say that they'll all be together one day. maybe you smile, and wrap them all in one last hug before the ferris wheel makes it's final rotation.

or maybe you'll come back. maybe you'll get into a fatal car accident. it's all over the news. maybe there's no way you could have survived. and you didn't. maybe you were taken to the hospital without a heartbeat. but maybe it started thumping again. and you were all over the news again, this time, being the person who beat death. but it all catches up to you one day. and maybe you're being careless. maybe you cut yourself while washing the blender. and maybe you stick a bandaid on, not thinking much of it. and maybe you go to sleep, but everything is red when you wake up. maybe you call 911, and watch as everything crumbles to the ground within a second. maybe you run out of blood while you're in the ambulance. maybe you couldn't even say goodbye to your friends and family. maybe you're on the news again. the man who beat death lost the rematch.

or maybe you did it yourself. maybe you didn't know what else there was for you and said goodbye through a crumpled piece of notebook paper. maybe you're gone so soon your favorite teacher cries in class when she sees your email. maybe your friend goes, too. maybe you felt lost, that you didn't have a map to guide you through the big shopping mall of life. or maybe you did have a map, but maybe your map didn't make sense. maybe you ripped up your map and left the store. maybe you were given one map but you wanted a different map. a map you could make yourself. and maybe, because of this, you left the mall. or maybe you didn't understand why you needed a map in the first place. what made you so important? maybe you thought you deserved to wander around endlessly in the infinitely large mall. or maybe you thought you deserved to not be in the mall to begin with. maybe you thought it was in your best interests to leave the mall. maybe you thought you were doing everyone else a favor. maybe you just didn't know.

maybe it's not the opposite of life. maybe it's apart of it. maybe it's the next great adventure for all of us. no need to rush, but no need to be scared, either. maybe it's the golden key, that opens a palace of eternity. maybe it's goodbye, but goodbye isn't forever. it's just a see you soon. and maybe that see you soon is on the other side.

death smiles at us all.
all you can do is smile back.