Insentient

Chapter 13

I want to open my eyes and see anything other than black.

I can't feel anything. My fingers, my limbs, my toes, nothing. It's as if I've ceased to exist in any physical form.

I'm in some sort of void. Everything is still, quiet...too quiet and I want to yell out something, anything, but I can't. I don't have lips or a mouth or breath.

I have no breath.

I have nothing but my thoughts.

And now, some constant beeping that seems muted at first, but the more I concentrate, the louder and more distinct it becomes. It's like I've just stepped off a plane and I've finally managed to pop my eardrums and it should give me some relief, but it doesn't.

Instead, all I can do is wallow in utter confusion. I have no idea where I am or what's happening to me. And now, I'm being assaulted with a sound that would probably grate on my nerves if I actually had any...

"You heard the doctors," a male voice says.

"Just go away," I hear a familiar voice retort.

Jen. I feel like it's been a lifetime since I've heard her voice last. It's about the only welcoming thing in this new existence of mine.

"She's brain dead, Jen. She'll never function," the other voice says, and I recognize it also, although it's not nearly as dear to me. In fact, I find that Patrick's voice is the last thing I want to hear.

"I don't want to give up," I hear her soft assertion and shaky intake of breath.

"The doctors say -"

"I don't care what the doctors say," she cuts him off in a stronger voice.

"It's been a week -" he starts.

"It's been four days!" she interrupts. "Four days and you're willing to pull the plug. Why is that? Huh?" I hear her ask.

"I only want what's best for Liz," he insists and mentally, I'm scoffing at his attempt at sincerity. I'm trying to open my eyes, so I can shoot him a look and tell him to buzz off. At this point, I don't even know if I have eyes. I still can't feel anything.

"Is that so?" she asks.

"Yes."

"Hmm. You know, I talked to Arianna. She said Liz caught the two of you -"

"She's lying," he interrupts.

She's not lying!

"Why would she lie? I think pretty much everyone at the wedding reception figured that one out. I have some nice photos of the two you grinding on the dancefloor, if you'd like to see them," she returns hotly.

"She was coming on to me," he asserts.

"Yeah, that picture of you dry humping her backside is a bit contradictory, then," she shoots back in a flat voice.

"I was drunk. I don't even remember that," I hear him respond.

Maybe he was drunk when he banged her earlier in the day too? I think sarcastically, and to be honest, the memory of that really does nothing to me. I'm not angry about it. It doesn't hurt at all. I obviously don't care.

"It doesn't matter. When she wakes up, we'll find out the truth."

"She's never going to wake up, Jen."

"There's a chance -"

"She can't breathe on her own. The only reason she's still alive is that tube down her throat! Even if she could, she'd never walk or talk again. That's what the doctors say. Do you want her to live like that? That's no life," he states in an elevated voice.