Crushin' and a Blushin'

Chapter 11 - acknowledgements and coffee

Harry's POV
When I got home last night it was only 9:00 but I was so tired I just went straight to bed. That's probably why I'm awake right now at 5:00. I tried to go back to sleep but my mind is racing.

I have come to the conclusion that I, Harry Styles, like boys. I'm not sure if I'm gay, or bi, or whatever but I do know that I have a big fat crush on Louis Tomlinson. I've never really felt this kind of way about someone, I mean always being endeared by someone and always blushing and stuttering around them. Honestly, my first real crush might just be Louis Tomlinson. It's literally only been a day and I have it so bad for him. I think I've had small crushes on boys before I just didn't know that's what it was but this crush is so massive it feels like a literal slap in the face and I guess I just can't ignore these feelings anymore. It might be too soon for me to already like Louis this much but I hope that one day it's mutual. That's probably a far reach though, I don't even know if Louis is gay or likes boys like that. I really hope he does. God this boy will be the death of me.

Just than I hear a knock on my door. I sit straight up in my bed and throw the pillow I was holding over my head to the side. I check the time and it's only 5:30.

"Come in," I answer with a groggy voice.

The door creaks open and I see my sister Gemma step in, "Hi Harry," she smiles shyly.

"Hey Gemma, what's up?" I ask patting my bed as an invitation for her to sit down.

I grab my pillow and hug it tight to my body as she takes her seat, "I just wanted to know if you're okay. I mean you came home last night and spoke no less than three words before going straight to bed which is just not like you," she explains her concern.

"Oh my god Gemma, I'm fine. I just had a really long day and I was super tired. Plus I had a lot on my mind."

She perks up at that, "Well what's on your mind? Maybe I can help," she smiles.

"I kind of figured it out already but-"

Should I tell Gemma my conclusion? I mean she is my sister after all and I doubt she would judge me. I don't think anyone in my family would judge me for it either. I don't really want to make a big deal out of coming out so I guess it's fine to just tell her now.

"You see Gemma, um yesterday I met this boy and uh he kind of made me finally acknowledge the fact that I like boys," I tell her looking down at my lap the whole time.

She takes a long pause which starts to worry me but finally she says, "Harry that's amazing!" she wraps me up in a big hug before suddenly pulling back, "You know I would never think any differently of you just because you like boys right? You're still my brother Harry and I love you," she smiles at me.

I tear up at her words and than hug her again, "Thank you Gemma, I love you too," I choke up on my words a bit.

I didn't really expect to get this emotional but Gemma's words were so sweet and I just couldn't hold it in. Hell, I just came out that's so fucking emotional. We finally pull away and my sister is still wearing a huge smile on her face along with some tears.

She wipes them away and sniffles, "Soooo who's this boy?" she asks wiggling her eyebrows which makes me laugh.

"His name's Louis," my heart melts just mentioning the fact that I have a crush on him, "He's new and I only met him yesterday but I like him so much already."

Gemma gives me a soft smile, "I can tell Harry. So he made you realize you like boys? Wait are you bi or?"

"I'm not really sure what I am. I think I would prefer to be called bi for now but I'm pretty much unlabeled right now, but who knows maybe I'm just fully gay," I laugh at the ridiculousness of it because I really don't have a clue what I am, I guess I'm just me as corny as that sounds, "And I think I always knew I had a thing for guys but I just never acknowledged it until Louis."