Fragile Blue | Larry Stylinson

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Since four days I "lived" with Liam and Zayn. They looked after me really well, but I didn't want to be a burden on them. So we stood in front of the apartment building in which my home was. It was already dark and cold outside.

"Are you sure? You are welcome to stay a few more days." Zayn offered me.

"So that you will say that again next time?" I questioned. "I can do it. I think..."

"Don't think, but know. You know you can do it." Liam nodded cheerfully to me.

I nodded and hugged them.

"Thanks." I mumbled before disappearing into the apartment building.

I crept quietly up the stairs until I stood in front of the apartment door. I took a deep breath and then entered the apartment as quietly as possible.

After taking off my shoes and jacket, I slipped into my room. I put my bag down and changed into comfortable clothes. Only then I heard the strange noises.

Was that someone moaning?
No.
But wait!!
There were even two people moaning...

Angrily, I threw myself on my bed and put on my headphones.

Loud but sad music was pouring into my ears and I couldn't hear this disgusting moan. Even my heartbroken sobbing wasn't heard.

If only I had stayed with Liam and Zayn...

>> <<

"You're the worst thing! Nobody wants you, you ugly piece of shit. It's a shame that you were my best friend. By the way, I'm going to marry Avery tomorrow. Now, fuck off and leave the apartment! I hope you die under a bridge fully off pee and trash, you rotten creature."

Then I woke up.

He doesn't want me.
He doesn't want me in this apartment, in his life, in this world.
He just wants Avery and he will marry her! Soon...

My head was pounding again, as it was four days ago, and my breathing was increased.

I didn't want it, but it happened again. This dream gave me clarity.

He doesn't want me.

Over and over again this sentence ran through my head. The air became tight and I tried to get to my bag. The spray was in there. But as soon as I put my weight on my feet, I immediately collapsed again. I was too weak.

"MUM!" I screamed in desperation and my lungs constricted.

I used to call mum back then. She was always there for me.

Suddenly the door was thrown open and Harry was standing in the room.

"Shit." he cursed and lunged at me.

He picked me up and went to the bed.

"Shhh breathe, Blue. I'm here. I'm sorry, but please don't go now. Do you hear me? Don't leave me alone. I need you." he spoke gently to me and tried to hide his fear and panic.

"I'm so sorry. I believe you. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Everything will be fine tomorrow. But please stay there." then he sobbed.

"Sp-spray." I croaked and pointed to my bag.

He nodded in tears and frantically rummaged around in the bag. When he found it, he ran up to me and pulled the trigger when it was in my mouth. Immediately I felt a relieving feeling in my lungs.

"Better?" he asked worried.

"Better." I mumbled sadly.

"You're not you when you don't have air. Spray and your breath is assured." Harry joked around.

"Idiot." I mumbled with a smile.

Why can't I even stay seriously angry?
And he said he believed me now, but why did he slept with Avery a few hours ago then?

"We need to talk." I then stopped my smile.

"I know." I heard him swallow.

"Your words hurted me, but it's even more hurtful that you didn't believed me. I thought I was somehow your best friend, even if Avery is your... your girlfriend." I said directly out.

"And I'm sorry about that too. I was just angry and Avery was so down that it was believable. I should have asked you before." he excused himself again.

"Hazza?" I asked hesitantly.

"Lou?" he replied with a smile.

"Is it true what you said when you were drunk? Do you really love me?" I asked hopefully.

"Sure. You are my best friend. Like a brother, of course I do." he replied and sat up.

Best friend, a brother. What was I thinking?

"And the kiss?" it slipped out of me.

"Could we just forget that? I can't remember exactly anyway. Not really. It's late." he exclaimed.

I nodded and looked silently at the ceiling.

"How did you find out about Avery was lying to you." I asked seconds later.

"I actually don't know." he shrugged. "Her whole story just doesn't make sense. It doesn't fit your personality."

Maybe I do have a chance with him, but probably just to be friends with him again.

"Why did the attack started?" Harry asked after minutes.

"I dreamed. You-you didn't wanted me anymore. You insulted me and threw me out of the apartment." I left out the part with Avery.

It was just better that way.

"I'm sorry. You know, about myself in your dream. Yeah..." he stammered.

"All right." I mumbled, making more room as he lay down again.

"But I would never throw you out and I will never tell you that you are useless. I need you and I don't want you to go. I don't want to lose you. That would no longer be a world for me. Without you." he clarified and sounded a little scared again.

Suddenly something came into my head again.

'It scares me because I've never loved like this before. I'm scared that I might lose this person and I don't know what to do then. This person is everything to me. My world.'

Does he mean maybe--? No, I'm just imagining that. He must have meant Avery for sure!

"Babe where are you?" we heard Avery calling.

Why was she always there when I thought of her? When does she bothered the most?

"Wify calls. I have to. Sleep and tomorrow we'll all talk about it again. Sleep well, darling." Harry pulled himself up and kissed my cheek before leaving my room.

Wify calls...

The abnormally beautiful tingling sensation from the kiss on my cheek didn't help anymore. It was that one word that upset me again.

Wify.

I thought Harry knew that she lied. Why was he calling her wify then?

I plugged my headphones into my ears again, the sad life was back again, and soon I fell asleep.
And again, nobody heard my heartbroken sobbing.

How serious is he with me?
Is there anything real at all?