Songbird

Showmance 1x02

We were sent to deliver a message to Mr. Shue. from Coach Sue. Once we find him, we see him in a sad conversation with the weird counselor. "Get a room!" Santana snarls. "Ms. Sylvester wants to see you in her office Mr. Shue.", Quinn informs him. "She doesn't like to be kept waiting!", I add. We walk off an leave them to resume their conversation as we go to class. 

After a long day at school it was celibacy club. I just joined because of Quinn. Quinn strikes a gavel against a sound board 3 times to get everyone's attention and to signal that the meeting has begun. "The Celibacy Club is now in session. Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let anyone join the club, we're welcoming a new member this week- Rachel What's-her-name.", Quinn says. " Where are all the boys?", Rachel asks. "Down the hall. First half hour we separate, then we come together to share our faith." Quinn replies annoyed.  Santana does a twirl in the cheerios skirt, which she looks so hot in! But I will never admit that out loud. " God bless the perv that invented these. Remember the power motto, girls." "It's all about the teasing, and not about the pleasing. Oh!", we all chant together as we begin to dance in place. "Back it up like a dump truck, baby!", One of the cheerios say. 

After a few more minutes we join the boys in another classroom. " Let's pair up for the "Immaculate Affection." Now, remember. If the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry." Quinn instructs us. I partner up with the one and only Noah Puckerman. He is the bad boy of the school who I hook up with when I am bored or just horny. And as usual Puckerman wants to be a huge ass and starts grinding on me with the balloon. " Yeah!", He moans, "Stop it!", I yell at him. "Take it. Ah, yeah!", He says before he gets interrupted by a balloon popping.

 "Finn!", Quinn yells which makes me realise it was their balloon that popped. " It must have hit my zipper.", Finn claims trying to defend himself. That is when Rachel pulled away and started yapping away. "You know what? This is a joke. Did you know that most studies have demonstrated that celibacy doesn't work in high schools? Our hormones are driving us too crazy to abstain. The second we start telling ourselves that there's no room for compromise, we act out. The only way to deal with teen sexuality is to be prepared. That's what contraception is for." "Don't you dare mention the "C" word!", Quinn yells. " You want to know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know? Girls want sex just as much as guys do.", Rachel says before she storms out. God, she is so dramatic! " I- Is that accurate?", a weird kid says as he turns to us. After that whole showdown everyone just kinda left. 

We were called into the Gymnasium during school the next day. Apparently the glee club was going to perform a number. Ugh! " Silence, children. Silence. First, an announcement. The toilets are broken again. We are fixing the problem. But let me warn you. There will be zero tolerance for anyone soiling school grounds. We're not going to have a repeat of the last time. We have a treat for you guys today. Mr. Schuester.", Principal Figgins announces into the microphone. " Yay, Glee! Glee kids, hooray!", cheers the school counselor. " Uh, hi. Uh, when I went to school here, Glee Club ruled this place. And we're on our way back. But we need some recruits to join the party. Now, I can tell you all about how great Glee is, but, uh, I think I'm gonna let some friends of mine show you instead.", Mr. Shue announces. 

The glee club starts singing "Push It" by Salt 'n' Pepa, with some super questionable moves. "I think I just barfed in my mouth", I whisper to Santana. She silently agrees with me and rubs her thigh against mine which sends shivers down my spine and sends tingles you know where. God, she turns me on. "Yes!", that weird yells once the glee kids are done, which starts a wave of screaming and cheering. Why are they cheering for them? That performance was horrible! 

Quinn comes to me later that day with the big idea of joining glee club. At first I was shocked, but when she told me her long term plan, I immediately got onboard. So the Unholy Quartet and I perform  "I Say A Little Prayer" by Dionna Warwick with Quinn and I taking the leads. " I have to say, I'm really surprised you guys are trying out.", Mr. Shue says surprised. " I'm sure you've read about this in the school paper. Finn and I have been an item for a while now. So what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't support him?", Quinn replies sarcastically. Santana and I give a quick high-five knowing Quinn's actual plan. "Well, let's see what you've got.", he replies and we begin to dance and sing. We obviously got in and I actually quite enjoyed it but I will never admit that. 

Somehow Coach Sue found out about our audition and was disappointed to say the least. " Let me get this straight. You're joining Glee Club?" " I'm sorry, Coach Sylvester, but something is going on between Finn and that thing. You saw how it was undressing him with its eyes. Please don't kick us off the Cheerios.", Quinn replied for all of us. " Cease fire on the waterworks. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see it. You know, Q, when I first laid eyes on you I was reminded of a young Sue Sylvester, though you don't have my bone structure. But it wasn't until this very moment I saw how alike we really are. You three are going to be my spies. I need eyes on the inside. We're going to bring this club down from within.", Coach Sue informs us. Santana and I smile at each other devilishly. " And I'm gonna get my boyfriend back." "I don't care so much about that." This was going to be a piece of cake.