Diggory Is Still A Loser (book 2)

13- Dear Darling

Celia didn't want to break her promise to Dumbledore, so for the rest of the week she tried really hard to act like a normal teenager.
She laid off the drugs, and tried to eat decent size portions at meal times.
Her mood had improved when Umbridge told her that she didn't need to use the dark quill anymore, unless she misbehaved again.
Umbridge had claimed that Celia had learned her lesson, and she didn't even mention that Dumbledore had spoken to her about the issue.
Celia guessed this was because she didn't want anyone to know that she was still being told what to do by Dumbledore.
But even with Dumbledore om her side, Celia was determined to toe the line in all future Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons, to avoid having to scar her hand further.

Harry hadn't found anywhere for their defense lessons yet, so Celia's week was rather boring and mundane.
On Saturday morning though, Celia was suprised when the owl mail arrived and there was a letter addressed to her.
Since she never got mail from her parents, and she hadn't sent her foreign friends letters in ages, Celia opened the letter cautiously in case it was dangerous.

'To Celia,
After receiving your letter, I began making plans to head to England to see you. I'm in Hogsmeade right now, waiting for you in the Three Broomsticks. See you soon.
Love Benjamin'.

Celia was left shocked by Benjamin's letter, since she couldn't even remember sending him one first.
But as he had come all the way from France to see her, she knew that she would have to meet him, so as not to appear rude.
This was also the only way she would find out what she had written in her letter to him.
But since it wasn't an official Hogsmeade visit that weekend, Celia had to sneak out of school using her invisibility hat.

Once she arrived in town, she removed her hat and headed towards the three broomsticks.
She immediately spotted Benjamin on one of the far tables, so she made her way over to him.
"Hi" she said awkwardly, once she reached him.
"It's good to see you" admitted Benjamin, as Celia sat down opposite him.
"You too. Bu you shouldn't have come all this way" replied Celia.
"I'm only in France, it's not that far away. Besides, I haven't got myself a job yet, so I don't need to take time off to see you"
"That's not what I meant. You shouldn't have come to Hogwarts to see me... I'm not in a good place right now".

"I know, which is why we broke up last term. But you said in your letter how much you missed me, so I knew that I had to come and see you, to make sure that you were O.K" informed Benjamin.
"Yeah, about that. I was drunk at the time, and I have no idea what I wrote in my letter, for I can't even remember sending one" revealed Celia.
"You don't remember what you said?" Frowned Benjamin.
"No... I don't suppose you've got my letter on you, so that I can read it?" Questioned Celia, hopefully.
Benjamin placed his hand inside his breast pocket and pulled out a crumpled letter, which Celia could tell had been read many times.
She took the letter from Benjamin and began rereading the letter she had sent.

'Dear darling,
Please excuse my writing. I can't stop my hands from shaking. Because I'm cold and alone tonight.
I miss you. And nothing hurts like no you. And no one understands what we went through. It was short, it was sweet, we tried.
And if my words break the walls, to meet you at your door. Then all I can say is that I mean them all.
My life isn't the same without you in it, and I wish things could be like they used to be. Everything in my life is falling apart and I need you.
Love Celia'.

Once Celia had finished reading her letter, she awkwardly handed it back to Benjamin, who returned it to his pocket.
"So, you don't remember writing any of that?" Benjamin asked softly.
"Not really. It's all a bit fuzzy" sighed Celia.
"You said earlier that you were drunk when you sent it. Have you been drinking a lot lately?" Questioned Benjamin.
"I've been doing a lot of bad things recently. But can you blame me?"
"No. But you never said that you were struggling, in the letters you sent during the summer holidays"
"That's because I wanted you, Fleur and Viktor to think that I was coping and wasn't a complete mess".

"You should have told me that you weren't coping, because I could have helped you" insisted Benjamin.
"No one can help me. This is something I have to get through alone" admitted Celia.
"But you don't have to do it alone. You can lean on me for support" replied Benjamin.
"What if I don't want to? I don't want to rely on you, or drag you down with me. You should be happy, and not be stuck with a miserable person like me".
Benjamin leaned forward and took hold of Celia's hands.
"I care a lot about you. And I don't want you to suffer alone. We're in this together. Afterall, we are the same, you and me. We are both misfits who love to read. It's what pulled us towards each other last year" reminded Benjamin.

Celia pulled her hands free, "I don't deserve you. And I don't deserve to be happy. Not after what happened to Cedric. How can I go on living a happy life, when he never got the chance?".
"Cedric was happy. He was one of those annoying people who are always happy. And he wouldn't want you to ever be sad" insisted Benjamin.
"He was always overly positive and bubbly, its true" agreed Celia.
"Exactly. And even though he's not here, he would want you to be the same"
"I know. It's just hard to move on, when I feel like crying every time Cedric is mentioned".

"Crying isn't a sin" Benjamin said softly.
"I know. But I can't cry. Not if I want people to think I'm strong" admitted Celia.
"It's not possible to be strong all the time. And showing your true emotions is not a weakness. Everyone grieves in different ways. And no one is going to judge you, for how you act this year, given what happened in the last one" reassured Benjamin.
"I suppose you're right"
"I always am".

Celia sighed and allowed herself to smile.
"Thanks for coming all this way to talk to me. I feel like I needed it" she said quietly.
"You're welcome. I don't have to go back to France until the new year. So, you're stuck with me for a few more months. You don't have to rush back to school right now, do you?"asked Benjamin.
"Nope" answered Celia.
"Good, then let's order some food, and have a proper catch up"
"Sounds good to me".

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For those of you that recognise the beginning of the letter, it's from the song Dear Darling by Olly Murs.