Get On Your Knees and Pray To Me

It's Hard For Me To Go Home And Be So Lonely

The first thing Loki saw when returning to Asgard was Heimdall staring down at him.

Well, he saw a few Heimdall's, actually. But that was mainly from the tears in his eyes causing his vision to be skewed.

Loki attempted not to make eye contact as he walked past Heimdall, his step devoid of his usual cocky swagger. His shoulders were slumped and his heart felt cold, colder than the chill of Jotunheim. Nothing felt right anymore. Not when he had left you for good.

Go back to her! Go back you blubbering fool!

No. It's better this way. She's safe this way.

Heimdall's golden eyes followed Loki as he trailed past him and he let out a hum. "Good morning, my Prince. It has been a while since you've returned home."

"Heimdall." Loki nodded, keeping his voice low. He was nearly out of the dome when Heimdall turned around and cleared his throat.

"How are you, Loki?" he asked.

"Just fine," Loki grumbled, really not in the mood for small talk at the moment. All he wanted was to go back to his chambers and collapse into bed. He wanted to dream of you, of your body, of your love. He wanted to dream of all the things he could no longer have. Heimdall, apparently, did not catch the hint of Loki's displeasure for conversation because after a short pause, he spoke once again.

"And how is your mortal?"

Loki froze, his body stiff as he stood at the edge of the golden observatory. He took a deep breath in, trying to relax himself. More tears blurred his vision as he thought about you - laying in bed, sleeping, still unaware that he had left you.

And then, he felt anger. Burning, hot anger. Anger from what he had done, anger because he could not fix what went wrong, anger because he met you. Anger because he fell for you. Anger because you made him soft and warm and able to be broken. Anger because he still loved you and he could not have you.

Slowly, Loki turned around, a single finger raised in the air. His eyes were red from his tears and his face was pale. He stared at Heimdall as his lips curled into a sneer.

"Do not mention her ever again," Loki hissed.

Heimdall blanched, his normally stoic face actually contorted into something similar to fear. "But isn't she your -"

"No," Loki snapped. "She is not mine. Not anymore."

"Loki," Heimdall whispered, his voice softer than Loki had ever heard it. He took a step down from his dais, one hand held outwards. "What happened?"

"I left her," Loki said. He rolled his eyes and laughed once cynically. "She...she was not worth the trouble. I lost all forms of affection for her."

"My Prince -"

"How could I ever love a mortal?" Loki spat, shaking his head and turning away. "How could I?"

"Loki, you must tell me what is going on. You've been head over heels for this woman! So much so that you have abandoned Asgard to be with her. This is so sudden of a change," Heimdall objected.

"Enough!" Loki shouted, tears falling down his face. He scrubbed them away with the heel of his hand, thankful he was not facing Heimdall. "Things change, Heimdall. Things change and we cannot stop them from changing no matter how hard we try. Some things just cannot be fixed and we will pay the price for that."

"What are you talking about?" Heimdall asked.

"Don't you have a job to do, oh Great Guardian?" Loki hissed, whipping around and jabbing a finger at Heimdall. Heimdall's nostrils flared as Loki pointed up to the dais. "I'm sure my brother, the King in standing, would not appreciate such negligence on your part."