Murder at Wayne Manor

Chapter 19

Wayne Manor; August 5th, 12:57 EST

I wake with a sleepy groan, pressing my head even deeper into the pillows in an attempt to ward off the state of wakefulness filtering through me. Waking up means thinking and thinking only reminds me of my current failures. Dwelling on them only serves to fuel my already surly mood.

I press the heels of my hands into my eyes, growling to myself as I roll over to glare at the clock on my bedside table. The red numbers glare back, telling me that it's early afternoon. I need to get up and work on several cases, but I'm not feeling very motivated, especially after spending the night chasing after Joker only to lose him in the predawn hours.

Forcing myself to sit up on the edge of the bed, my hand immediately moves to brace my side, my ribs screaming at me for another direct hit that I should've avoided. It's not always easy, though, when six of Joker's lackeys jump you at once.

I rake my fingers back through my hair before standing and stripping off my sleeping pants before heading into the bathroom. I step into the shower, allowing the hot water to pound against my aching muscles. My thoughts naturally drift to a raven-haired beauty who sleeps just down the hallway from me as the water runs down my body.

The thought of her creates a warm tingling that drifts through me, momentarily taking my mind off last night's failure. We have yet to talk about us and it's mostly my fault. While I'm more than determined to pursue more than just friendship with her, I'm equally afraid of the ramifications of such a decision.

The consequences of a relationship with her continually races through my mind, the effect on not only my mission to Gotham but also the Justice League keeps me from talking about it with her. I've poured over the pros and cons, the positives and the negatives of pursuing this with her at least a hundred times.

I know what I feel for her is more than just simple attraction. I want her like I've wanted no other, but is it really love that I feel for her? I remind myself that just because I want something doesn't make it right nor does it make it something I should pursue.

There have been times in the past that I had truly believed that I was in love only to realize later that it wasn't. Andrea had always been my measuring stick by which I had judged whether I was really falling in love or not. While she's my first love and will always hold a special place in my heart, those feelings have faded substantially with time. Instead, for the past year, I've found myself comparing each woman I meet or date to Diana.

I press my forehead against the wall of the shower, my brooding anger returning with a fierce vengeance as I think about how I have failed her. The threatening letter that was found in her office...the black roses have all resulted in no clues whatsoever as to who is behind all of it.

No clues had been left behind, no fingerprints to track. I hope that installing security cameras in her office will help me find out who is threatening her before she gets hurt. Despite her incredible gods-given gifts, I find myself still worried about her, keeping her in my sights during missions together.

I've always been very impressed with her fighting skills, respected her immense strength, but it's the unknown variables that always keep me on constant guard. Ever since she'd first arrived, I'd felt a certain protectiveness towards the naïve Amazon princess.

I'd always told myself that it was just concern for a teammate unaware of the ways of the modern world. Over time, it had turned into what I preferred to call brotherly worry, but now I have to admit that it has become far more than that over the last year.