habits // luke hemmings || EDITING

day 2

saturday; 00:31

dear elise,

so day 2 was a bit hectic. calum literally had to drag me out of bed. my head still hurts from falling face first on the floor. my head also hurts a lot from crying and loving you so much like damn how are you even coping without me. i'm kidding, i'm a dick and you're probably doing fantastic. but yeah he tried to do something impossible today - get my mind pff you. so he took me to the club, he tried to hook me up with a few girls. they all reeked of vodka and vomit which was nothing compared to your sweet raspberry scent. the scent that would fill my nostrils whenever i'd kiss your neck. i miss that. being away from you is torture, el. why'd you have to leave me? we were perfectly fine that night, you hit me like a goddamned truck when the words "it's over" left your lips. is it because you're afraid of the long distance caused by your uni? was i being too much with my ugly banter? did i say anything that made you want to disown me? how am i supposed to know! you just said it out of nowhere with out dropping a single hint! fucking hell elise. i love you. why'd you do this? i know you love me too i know it. you never really wanted to end what we had, something or someone just pressured you to do it. it's just -- whatever, back to today, calum ended up ditching me and fucking a hooker somewhere in the backroom i don't know, he just left my sight with a sweaty 20 year old woman in hand. god he's such a drunk. i just got home and somehow the fact that we're done left my mind and I panicked when i didn't see you sound asleep in my bed. fuck, living without you is so difficult. i can barely function. you don't know how much i need you el. my heart and soul relies on it. not even joking. it amazes me how much happiness you bring when you're here with me and how much pain you cause when you're not here. you do things to me el... and hurting me is one of them. but i still love you, no matter how much shit our breakup brought upon me. i don't even know how you're doing. if you're having the time of you life without me or if you're just as sad as me. i miss you el. come back to me.

love you always,
luke