Johnny...

hoodies | 5

its been awhile since I've seen anyone. im currently in my room. the only time someone sees me is when i go out to buy drugs. kinda sad but whatever. maddie's been texting me and staying outside my door. she asks me why i don't talk anymore. it's because when i did no one listened. it's currently 2 am. i grab my long board and sneak out my window. it helps with no one around and just the wind in your face. once i get off the roof johnnys standing at the front door about to knock. he sees me and rushes over to me. "what are you doing?" i shrug. "just going for a midnight ride. he nods. "can we talk?" i nod. i open the front door and start to walk upstairs. maddie rushes over to me and i just wave her off. i go upstairs and sit on my desk chair. he stands there awkwardly. "you gonna sit or what?" he lets out a cough and sits down. "ok so, i really miss you kenzie, i don't care what your going through, i will be here for you." i nod. "is the at all.?" he nods. i start to get up. "um what are you doing?" i smirk. i sit on his lap. by instinct he puts his hands on my waist. "are you high right now?" i smile. "yup sure am." he sighs when i start to kiss his neck. "kenzie, your under the influence. i-i-i can't.." then let's smoke. he laughs. "ok." i reach over and grab the blunt id just rolled from the desk. along with the lighter. he lights it. "whyd you do it? i was starting to get better without you, you left me with all the bad memories and i couldnt remember what it wass like without the better half of me. The cold winter nights without you were different, i tried it with different girls but they wanted more then i did and i had to say enough. do you know how bad it sucked not being able to touch or look at another girl after you, they never could live up to you. i couldnt delete the pictures of someone else on you in my head. i know things changed when facetime changed into testing. when i see you now i dont see the mackenzie i know. i dont see the late night talks or lying by the fireplace watching tv, cuddled up o the floor. things feell apart to fast for me to intersect. i know people say were not right for each other but, what person has ever treated you as good as i have. your the one person whose seen the real fucking me mackenzie. was every good memory a lie? did you even fall in love with me? was i just a toy?" i sigh. "no johnny at first you were just a toy." he had tears in his eyes, he is holding his breath like he forgot how to breath. He looks like he wants to forget, sometimes i do too. "i remember it clearly that day you slipped away johnny, i knew it would ruin me. sometime i wanna call, but then i remember were not together anymore. you were my home johnny. he laughs. "why did ypu break up with me?" i sigh. i might regret this. "i was pregnant." "w-what, where is it, what happened."