Hayline developed a hopeless love towards an attractively handsome Rilden Green; a boy she saw playing guitar in an online worship session.
But in between her determined feelings for him, several boys tried to win her heart. Two failed, one succeede...
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Surrender.
It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Of course, I was willing to surrender to God, but my question stays, howexactlyisitdone?
I was answered to that question by Rex several days ago but still, I couldn't bring myself to it as much as I wanted to. When she realized she couldn't help me further in this by explaining, she said, "God will help you see it through as He helped me. A change isn't something we can make, it's God's business. Just make sure you've given your heart opened to Him."
I nodded to myself, siting in my room, recalling our conversation we had several days ago. I was feeling so tempted towards Rilden, even though I've decided to let him go. Rex did warned me about this temptation and some minutes ago, I was in the very edge of trying to look up Rilden's siblings on Instagram, to see if I can find his photo there; but I stopped myself.
Why Rilden of all people and things Rex was telling me to let go?
I still don't understand why. I did understand that she was telling me not to hope for him because he was hopeless for me.
I've began to get frustrated at times, top confused at what's going on with me. Sometimes I can't even tell what was going in my mind or what was I thinking.
I didn't see Naomi -the girl I was planning on seeing but Rex told not to because she knew what I was up to- until a day before Christmas Eve because she was in Tel Aviv with her parents who lives there as caretakers. I didn't had to go to her because she already was coming to me when we saw each other, and talked a lot. She was less over-smart than I remembered and was acting a bit mature, according to her age. Maybe it was a relationship that brought changes to her; Rilden might be such an amazing person enough to warm her up. The argue inside me about asking her something about him was boiling in my veins, in part of temptation. But I tried to push them away. I thought, maybe Naomi might bring up the topic of her boyfriend because she loved flattering, but she didn't; and I counted that as another change in her. I wanted to be proud of her or praise God for the change in her, but my jealousy was too strong, even though I knew I'm not supposed to feel it.
This trip to Jerusalem was meant to be pleasant and warming but it wasn't doing well for me. But my cheerer, who was physically a million miles away from me, did managed to cheer me up.
On the Christmas Eve morning, our youngest uncle called Haxsel on phone and told him that there are two posts for me and him. When Haxsel came back with our postal cards, I was surprised to see that mine was from Harry and Haxsel's was from Maxell. I was quite surprised and asked my brother, how did they got our uncle's address. He told me that Max had asked him for a postal registered address to send a Christmas card, and so because our uncle's was the only registered address we had in Israel, Haxsel gave him that one.
I went up to my room, sat on my bed and tore off the sealing of the cover. Mine had something in it than just a Christmas card like Haxsel's; it was something like a small gift box with a folded note tied of top, with a visible writing of Harry: WARNING! Don't open this paper and read until you open the box.
