The Blossoming of Penelope Featherington | A BRIDGERTON Fanfic

Chapter 15

"W-what?" Penelope stared at him in shock, not even noticing the wind blowing her hair across her face. Colin felt an urge to brush it away.

"I will have you. Marry me." He wasn't sure what came to him to make a sudden proposal. It was just minutes ago that he said he wouldn't be marrying for a while, yet here he was.

The events of the past two days must have knocked the sense out of Colin's head- or sense into it. Either way, he knew what he had to do. He wanted men like Zouch, Dankworth, and Jenkins to stop speaking of her as if she was just misplaced in the list of ladies waiting for marriage. And what better to do that than show them he wanted to marry her. That could give Penelope a ladder to look at them from above and have her new position in society looming over them. And even if she did not wish for that, he did. It was a story of revenge written by young girls and school boys, and yet....

"No."

"What?" It was Colin's turn to be surprised. He didn't know why he expected she'd say yes, but he did. And now that she said no...he was greatly confused and the frustration he had from their earlier arguments were returning.

"Colin, why are you asking me of this?" Penelope's lips were pulled back tight. "Is this some joke to you?"

Colin stepped back, affronted. "What? No, of course not." He shook his head. "I don't mean it that way."

Penelope's breathing was quick as she answered, "I know you don't, which is why I am so confused as to why you are asking me...this!" She tried to calm herself but was given a moment of relief upon realizing that most of the park-goers had left for home once the cool air had returned.

Colin crossed his arms. "This is your hand in marriage if you have forgotten."

She bit her lip to keep from screaming. "I have not since I'm still grasping every corner of my mind as to what made you utter such- such-"

"Such what?" Colin challenged.

"Such a proposal," she finished. She took a deep breath and counted to five. "I know it is naïve of me, being so well acquainted with the type of marriages in the ton, seeing how my parent's marriage had been."

Her parents' marriage had not been born out of a love match. They liked one another well enough to stay married and have four daughters- possibly with the hopes of siring a son. She couldn't even remember a time when they said the words 'I love you' to each other. And yet she wanted more. "But I had it in mind to marry not simply for the sake of marriage. Even if it meant not marrying all." She turned away from him, not wanting him to see the resignation forming in her eyes.

"Well that wasn't what I understood from your rant."

She whipped her head to face him, reddening with irritation. "Doesn't mean I will act upon it in such a way!"

"Why not, Penelope?" He was obviously just as frustrated with her. His hair had already become tousled from his continuous brushing. He looked like he was close to pulling it out.

"What?"

"Why is the idea of marriage with me so deplorable that it brought you screaming at me?" His eyes were wide. The vulnerability she saw in them took her back to the events the night before.

She calmed down, suddenly embarrassed at her outburst. "It isn't."

"Then why?" There was a pleading in his voice-or was it just her urging her own voice to manifest in his? "Why not?"

Why not? she repeated the question in her head. Because... Because after loving him for years and finally coming to terms that he would never love her back, the idea of being by his side for the rest of her life, and still being reminded of that fact, scared her and hurt her too much.