A Love With Limits

Chapter 6: Times Are Changing

As the next day rolled around, Dr. Vìzkovà still felt a tinge of guilt in her stomach. Seeing Leonard's hurt face as she walked away last night had made her heart drop, but she knew that she couldn't have a relationship with him. She had to explain to him that this was a one time thing, and that her job was too important to lose over a relationship, or even just casual flirting. Right now, he was emotionally and physically unstable, and she didn't want to jeopardize his mental state even more by doing such things with him again. She wanted to focus on his recovery before anything, this she knew.

At the hospital, Leonard was exploring his surroundings. He walked in a peculiar way after being paralyzed for so long - his arms bent in front of him, bobbing up and down ever so slightly as he walked. It had been arranged that his mother should come by today, and he was utterly excited for this - he wanted to hug her again, and talk to her like he used to. He wanted her to feel at peace again, something she hadn't felt for three decades. Leonard was fascinated by how much things had changed, and he looked around in awe. The equipment at the hospital was unlike anything he had seen before, and looking out of the barred windows, he could see how much the world had changed. New cars, new fashion, new city. Indeed, the city he knew as a kid had converted into a modern metropolis, and he couldn't believe it. He didn't remember all too much of when he arrived here at the hospital, but he remembered playing in the streets with his best friends, a memory he was incredibly fond of. In the doorway of Dr. Vìzkovà's office stood Leonard's mother, and as she saw her son standing up, walking and moving his arms, she was hesitant to even walk up to him. Was this really her son? The son whom she hadn't truly been in contact with for 30 years? For a moment, she just looked at him, unsure, with an unreadable expression on her face - but as Leonard smiled at her, opening his arms for a hug, she rushed over to him, and embraced him with all the love she had. Watching the two reunite in this way made Caroline tear up, and she didn't want to interrupt this beautiful moment.

Now that he was out of his coma, he wanted to get outside and feel the fresh air again - go for a walk, as simple as that. To feel normal, that was all he wanted, feel like himself again. This was slowly coming true. All the nurses and doctors in the hospital were in complete shock discovering that he had come back from his frozen state; mouths agape, and unsure of how to approach him. A couple of younger nurses walked up to him as he wandered the halls with assistance, and with that exact expression, one of them reached her hand out to shake Leonard's. "How do you do, sir? My name is Margaret." she spoke, looking directly into his eyes, as if he was a mythical creature of some sort. She had never in a million years believed that anything would ever change for the around Bainbridge Hospital, and she felt like she was dreaming. Leonard smiled widely at her, in fact, Leonard had been smiling ever since he awoke from catatonia, as everything around him amazed him. While he had been aware of his surroundings before, it had never been to this extent - he had gone in and out of conciousness while he was in his coma, being unable to focus on too many things at one time. "Margaret." He giggled, shaking her hand. Dr. Vìzkovà followed him, smiling just as much as Leonard - forgetting their romantic encounter yesterday, she felt incredibly proud of him. Most people, having lost that much of their life, would be depressed - maybe he was, but he didn't show it. He was like a ball of happiness, she thought, like nothing bad had ever happened to him. She just hoped he would be able to cope. Every nurse, every doctor and every chemist at the hospital were estatic over this positive outcome - it all seemed to have been worth it. Maybe L-Dopa could really save all of the patients? It was the talk of the town, not just the hospital. L-Dopa, the miracle drug! Dr. Vìzkovà herself had become somewhat of a hero herself, having been so stubborn in her plan to help the patients, especially Leonard Lowe.

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Later that same day, after Leonard had eaten his first solid meal in years - and he really enjoyed it, eating it like a starving lion - Dr. Vìzkovà brought him back into her office. Over the course of a couple of hours, she did physical tests on him, finding out the extent of his movements, and taking photos of him on her polaroid camera to keep as a memory, as a historical photo of some sort - this was, after all, a historical event, at least to her. She hung the photo of Leonard on her blackboard, a big toothy grin smeared across his face, and as soon as Leonard saw the photo of himself, it was like he froze into place. He stared at the photo for a while, as if he didn't know the man in the photo - who was this? He looked old, middle aged. He had greying hair, stubble and a couple of wrinkles, not what Leonard had ever imagined he, himself, looked like. In the 30 years that he had been catatonic, he hadn't seen himself in the mirror, and he had never considered that he would age this much physically. He brought a hand to his face, rubbing his beard, as if to confirm that the photo was really him and not someone else. Walking out to the bathroom, he examined his face, looking himself up and down, with furrowed brows. He knew that he had been gone for years, but exactly how much he had aged, he never thought about. His brain had, after all, for a long time, gone in and out of conciousness, and he had never thought about the prospect of aging as much as he did now that he was awake. It sunk in - he had lost 30 years of life. It broke his heart - he had already messed up by kissing the young doctor, and now he was messing her up by making her fall in love with a nobody like him. That's what he felt like - a nobody. He hadn't been anybody for most of his life, 3 decades, and he was so far behind on everything. Why would he drag her into a relationship with someone like him, someone who would need so much assistance? He knew he needed to try and lose his feelings for her.

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By nighttime, Dr. Vìzkovà and Leonard's mother helped him into bed. Usually, this was an easy task, because when he had been catatonic, they could just put him to bed with a pill and get no resistance from him. But sleeping had become an anxiety inducing task for Leonard after his awakening, and it was like he retracted back into his childlike state when he was put into bed. His mother had to stroke his hair and sing a goodnight song for him, like he was a little boy, and as Caroline watched, her heart broke. She knew that Leonard was an adult, capable of adult feelings and making adult desicions - but he was afraid. He was scared. He had never been taught how to exist on his own, he had been assisted his whole life, unable to fend for himself - so as a coping mechanism, he regressed into his childhood to feel comforted. Leonard didn't want to be seen as a child, because he wasn't one; but he didn't know how to exist as anything else. Dr. Vìzkovà had been a source of relief for him, making him feel somewhat normal, and she helped him be stable, but this would take a lot of time. Gaining control of himself again and being a normal man, while having childlike wants and needs.

Dr. Vìzkovà watched him as he layed there in bed, helpless, with fear in his beautiful almond eyes - she wanted to hold him, assure him that everything was going to be okay. However, for now, her feelings had to be put aside. She couldn't be with him. As much as she cared for him, his mental state would make their relationship difficult. But she never wanted to let him go, even through his toughest times. She didn't want to admit it, but...She loved him. She really did. More than she had loved anyone in a long time.

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