My Collection of Poetry

Death, Time, and the Illusion They Are

Death truly stops time and not just for the deceased but also the living. When death came in 3 in my family it stopped time for me. The earth stood still. Nothing mattered. I still remember each passing so vividly as if it were yesterday. I swear I could look back and be right where I was 2 years ago. As the days progressed and everyone moved on I stood still in the exact same spot I was in when each person died. The most vivid of deaths was my mothers. Her death came last but her mother's was first out of the 3. My brother being the second death. Her's was so vivid because I remember seeing her body and it feeling like an outer body experience. I felt as if I were seeing myself view her dead body for the first time. I was thinking wow this is really it the day has come. This is the end of the line for her. She ran the race we call life. Her marathon is finally over. I remember also thinking back to when her mother died and what I said. My grandmother died in a hospital bed with all of her children and husband by her side. My brother and I stood at each side of my mother as she sat in between us at the foot of the bed and watched them pull the plug. I remember her cries for her mother as if she were just a child. A 53 year old woman cried out "mama!! mamma!!" In that moment I knew there was no greater pain and that I never wanted to experience it. But sadly I did a year and one month later. I remember my mother asked me was she too loud because her siblings glared at her. I told her no and that who cares what they thought her mother just died it hurts and she was expressing that pain. I then said when she died I would holler scream and shout until they had to escort me out. However, a year and one month later I did the exact opposite. I went numb. I ran cold. The pain ran so deep I couldn't even react. I couldn't even feel it. My body wouldn't allow it. I learned what true pain was that very day.