Dalliance

Strawberry Ice Cream

Harry and Louis – ages 22 and 23 (part 2)

Louis' eyes fly open as he hears three loud knocks on the front door. He can't remember falling asleep or how the game ended, but it must be late because all that's playing now is an infomercial for some amazing vegetable peeler that costs far too much money. It's dark out and late enough that nobody should be pounding on his door.

Three more loud knocks pull Louis back to reality and he gets up to look through the peephole. What he's not expecting to see is a disarrayed Harry standing on the other side. He quickly unlocks the door and opens it. "H?"

"Can I come in?" his voice is far away and wobbly. "Please?"

Louis stares at him for what feels like hours before he snaps himself out of his shock and pulls Harry inside. He takes a closer look at Harry as he leans against the counter and rubs at his face. His hair is a disaster, tangled curls a mess all over his face and stuck to his neck with sweat. His shirt is on inside out, a rip on his sleeve and a hole sitting on the hem. His jeans are zipped but not buttoned, hanging low on his hips. What stops Louis in his tracks though, is the tear stains down his cheeks and his red-lined eyes and puffy lips.

"H?" Louis says quietly, carefully. This is not something he's used to.

"I fucked up," Harry gets out before he bursts into tears. His shoulder shake and he caves in on himself, falling to the floor.

"What are you talking about, love?" Louis rushes over and pulls him close. Harry grips fistfuls of Louis' shirt and cries into his neck.

"I-I did some really shitty things this week to get you out of my h-head but I fucking can't, Louis," Harry sobs.

"Have you ever thought that's because I'm supposed to be there?" Louis asks calmly as he tries to untangle Harry's hair bit by bit.

"Don't be daft, of course I have," Harry tries to wipe his eyes, but tears keep streaming down his face.

Louis shakes his head and rolls his eyes where Harry can't see. "Alright then,"

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude," Harry sniffles.

"Can I ask you something?" Harry nods. Louis lifts Harry up and walks him toward the bathroom. "What are you doing here at—" he checks his phone and turns the bathroom light on. "Two-thirty in the morning?"

"Oh, um, that," Harry sighs and lets Louis sit him down on the edge of the tub.

"Yeah, that," Louis repeats as he ties Harry's hair up into a bun.

Harry is quiet as Louis wets a cloth and gently wipes his face clean. Louis traces the lines of his face under the cloth carefully, memorizing and in awe of this boy. He runs his thumb along Harry's eyebrow and tucks a loose piece of hair behind his ear.

"Lou?" Harry catches Louis' wrist and nuzzles his cheek into Louis' hand.
"Hm?" Louis hums just as quiet.

He doesn't want to ruin this tender moment. A kind of moment they haven't had in so long. It's never been quite like this, though, Louis feels the shift. It's never felt this... grown-up for lack of a better term. It's soft and quiet and it feels like Harry.

"It's you," Harry kisses the inside of Louis' wrist.

"Finally figured that out, have you?" Louis says with a smile.

Harry doesn't return it; he won't meet Louis' eye. "Don't be mad at me," he whispers.

"Why would I be mad?" Louis asks sitting on his knees in front of Harry.

"Because I've been ignoring you and I'm sure Zayn has been telling you everything," Harry says. Fresh tears threaten to spill from his eyes.

"He's told me you've been... working through your anger with me," Louis says, careful to use Zayn's words.

Harry laughs humorlessly. "That's one way to put it, I guess,"

"H," Louis tilts Harry's face to his. "I'm not judging how you choose to make yourself feel better,"

"I came here from a hookup," Harry admits and looks away from Louis. He can't bring himself to see the look of disappointment on his face. "It's disgusting and disrespectful to you and I know that, but I had to come,"

Louis blows air into his cheeks and tries not to sigh. It felt like a punch to the gut, but he could tell, it's not like it's shocking news in the state he came in. Still, it hurts to hear.

"Well, um, could be worse, I suppose," Louis tries.

Harry looks up at him with clear green eyes, tears still pooled in his waterline. "Louis, I'm a fucking hypocrite,"

Louis shrugs one shoulder and entwines his fingers with Harry's. "So what? I've done shitty things to you, you've done shitty things to me... it is what it is,"

"No, Louis, it's not it is what it is," Harry says quickly. Louder than he's been, but he never takes his hand from Louis', he just holds on tighter. "I got so pissed at you, I kicked you out when you told me that you went to see Elle and you just talked. I called her, she told me, you didn't do anything but talk to her about me, about us. I come here in the middle of the night after a failed hook up, crying and telling you that I love you and you're just going to let me?"

Louis blinks at him. "Yes,"

"Why?"

"Because you had to figure it out," Louis says. "I figured it out when I lost you, you had to figure it out like this,"

Harry's quiet for a long time. "So it doesn't bother you?"

"I never said that," Louis says with a light laugh. "I'm insanely jealous, you know that. But I'm sure it wasn't fun to hear when I slept with Elle, so I have to take it one step at a time. You don't owe me an explanation, you don't owe me anything, you weren't mine,"

"I want to be," Harry says quietly. "If you'll have me, I want to be yours,"

Louis feels like his heart is beating out of his chest. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that."

"I want it to be different than before, Lou. I want it to be real this time, I want to start over," Harry's voice is wobbly again and his lip trembles.

Louis thinks that is the best thing Harry could have said. They need to start over. Too much has happened between them, their relationship, whatever it has been before, is tainted. Louis stands up and pulls Harry up with him, finally letting his hand go.

"Hi," Louis sticks his hand out to Harry. "I'm Louis,"

Harry smiles and rolls his eyes fondly. "Lou, this is silly,"

"Come on, H, start over with me,"

Harry bites his lip and shakes Louis' hand. "Harry,"

"Hi Harold," Louis grins at Harry. He replays the first time they met in his head over and over again, he knows Harry does too.

"Alright, Lewis," Harry says, mocking their banter when they were so young. "I love you," he says quieter.

"Love you," Louis pulls him into a tight hug. "You're my boy, H. It's always going to be us,"

"Can I ask you something?" Harry asks as Louis pulls away and pulls him toward the kitchen.

"Anything," Louis says sitting on the barstool on the island.

Harry fits himself behind Louis and nuzzles his face into Louis' neck. "Do you have any strawberry ice cream?"