'Til Death Do Us Part - Bucky Barnes

Five

Sometimes, losing is better than winning and hurting is better than feeling good. Sometimes, guilt should swallow you whole and make you drown in self hatred until you realise the effects your actions have. As an avenger, you learn that the hard way. As an everyday person, you might not learn that at all, but I guess that's why I'm saying it.

As much as I didn't want to, I liked killing those agents. It was more like a weight lifted off my chest than another being put on as this wasn't the first time I had killed, except last time it was unintentional. And although it wasn't meant to happen, I still enjoyed it just as much.

I sunk into Steve's chest pulling the back of his shirt into my fists.

"You liked it?" He replied pulling my arms down to my side. He looked at me like we had never met before, causing my heart to shatter in realisation that he wouldn't accept me.

I nodded my head wiping away from the tears on my cheeks and in the crevices of my nose. "It doesn't mean I don't feel guilty," if anything I felt scared, scared of what else I could do and what else I have done.

"I need to get Tony," he backed up into the elevator and started spam pressing the buttons.

"Can't we just talk about it? Be there for me, like a dad would be?"

"I'm not your dad, Sabrina. I would have raised you differently." The doors shut and his face disappeared. Stepping back a couple of times caused me to fall to the floor when I tripped over my own feet. I pulled the shirt over my knees and hit my head my knee caps except this time I didn't cry.

"FRIDAY, put my floor on lo-," before I could put the floor on lockdown the lift doors opened again with a tall figure rushing out and falling down in front of me. I looked up to see Bucky sat opposite me. "You need to leave." I said frustratedly, not moving from my position.

"I saw Steve leave the elevator. His shirt was wet, figured you'd been crying. He seemed angry though and I-,"

"You wanted to know why? That's none of your business James." I lifted myself up and lugged myself to my bedroom. Before I got inside, Bucky grabbed my shoulder causing me to turn and twist his non-metal arm behind is back and trip him up onto the floor. I dug my free elbow into the back of his neck as if I were blocking his windpipe from the back.

He gasped for breath and managed to flip me over swiftly where he had my hands pinned on the wooden floor above my head and he hovered above me with his weight all on his knees, which were either side of me.

"I'm sorry," I let out breathily, "it's instinct."

"I know, you have a switch too. But remember, I'm still stronger than you," he pushed my arms up further causing me to clench my eyelids together, scrunching up my whole face.

"FRIDAY, tell Tony to calm Steve down and lockdown my floor for an hour, please." FRIDAY replied instantly saying the message had been sent and the elevator had been locked for this floor.

"So you're trapping me here with you?" Bucky smirked letting go of my wrist, yet still sat over my hips.

"Trust me, I don't want to be here with you either." My chest rose and fell between every breath. I'm not sure whether it was because I just wrestled a 170 pound men to the ground or if it was because he topped me quicker than I could say please.

"You don't? Then why are you still beneath me?" He asked with his hands on both of my thighs.

"Because, believe it or not, this floor is very comfortable." I smirked wriggling my body about making it look like I was getting comfortable.