The Portal

II 2.6 Coward

That night, Daria found her mother already in her room. She knocked on the door lightly before entering. Veronique Ainsley was getting ready for bed. She was already wearing a long gray nightgown. Her hair, which had spent the day in a tight bun, now formed a loose braid that fell over her left shoulder. Her mother's room was much larger than Daria's and was in the tutors' wing. Next to a small table, the room had a wall of mirrors and an iron bar, like a dance studio. Every morning Veronique warmed up and did exercises to keep in shape.

- Daria, dear. Goodnight.

- Mama - greeted the daughter.

- What are you doing here so late? - asked the mother, hurrying to pour each of them a cup of tea.

- I'm not sleepy, I thought we could read something together - Daria said.

- Of course, dear. Drink this fennel tea, which will help you sleep.

It was so weird taking lessons from her mother. Especially when her mother was such a strict tutor. Daria missed the intimacy they shared when they were alone. She drank some tea and relaxed her posture in the chair, waiting for the moment when Veronique would certainly correct her.

- Have you heard from Aydan, Mama?

- Ah yes. I received a letter from your brother this morning. Everything goes well.

They talked about family and the cold weather in Shailaja, until a comment from her mother surprised her.

- You didn't do bad at all today in your singing lesson, Daria.

- Uh... Thank you?

- Of course, you can still improve...

Daria didn't see how she could improve any further. She was a terrible singer, she missed the notes, her throat hurt when she sang, she couldn't maintain her posture or pretend any emotion. The only reason it hadn't been a total disaster was that her mother had forced her to practice tirelessly over the summer. But now she felt she had reached the limit of her abilities.

While they were on that subject, Daria remembered Miss Maël and how her mother had been strangely benevolent to the rani.

- Mama, why did you release Hannah Maël today from the lesson? - asked Daria.

- I didn't release her. She refused to participate in the lesson, my daughter.

- Was it just for that? I thought you would insist more...

The mother took another sip of tea and said: - I would have insisted... But I didn't have the courage.

- Courage, Mama?

- Even I have limits, Daria.

- Do you believe that she does not know how to dance or sing? I heard that her mother was a great dancer...

- She was raised on a farm, where would she learn?

Daria thought the matter was closed. She picked up a book, draped a blanket over her legs, and began to read, but she didn't get past the first page until she heard her mother's low voice. Veronique was still holding the cup of tea, but it seemed to be forgotten between her fingers. She was staring at the strange dance of the flames that burned in the fireplace.

- When I was just a silly girl, I was here in Shailaja like you, daughter... Merab was a year ahead... I was honored to see her in top form.

- Merab? Mama, who is Merab?

- Merab became the Rana of Palatials... She was Hannah's mother.

Daria widened her eyes and closed the book.