a song of foxes and flowers ( peaky blinders )

mistakes and misfits

Alice had no idea why she felt so antagonistic leaving the small theater. Both girls fell a few paces behind Stag, who was limping and visibly irritated with the children. He hadn't said a word to them since they left the small building, staring ahead of him rather than back at the two girls. On his cheek was a blossoming bruise, and his lip appeared to be busted.

She hoped it hurt. She really, truly did.

Stag was a burly, intimidating man, who rarely walked around fully dressed. He was either missing a waistcoat, suspenders, or a proper coat at the most inconvenient of times. The Scot would pick it up over their various stops and promptly ditch it again, usually while they fled from coppers or some niche gang. Tonight, he was missing a coat, suspenders, and even a tie - but he had gained a large briefcase Alice hadn't seen before.

Bitterly, she wondered what he did to get it. Her nostrils flared, lagging behind the two.

Alice wanted to leave the man and take off - a childish, unrealistic wish she'd never actually attempt. Despite all her pent up disdain towards the man, he kept them both alive. He killed for them and he never hurt them. He was just harsh with his words - and it was all just so unfair. She was being irrational, and putting it all onto the man who kept her from being further traumatized or killed.

Stag was the opposite of the knight in shining armor he was supposed to be. In her mind, he was supposed to be valiant and kind. In his own horrifically realistic way, he was a hero. He just wasn't valiant or kind, and that was the opposite of what she wished for.

She was just angry, she told herself over and over. That's why she was feeling so conflicted. She was angry at Stag for not letting them finish the movie and never lying to her, angry at Lily for being cynical, weird and stronger than her , angry at the whole world for taking her from her family and forcing her to sleep with one eye open for the past... What was it, two weeks?

Had it really been two weeks already?

She had never even spent a night away from her family before this.

It was sickening to think about what this was doing to her family - so she shoved it aside. Alice wouldn't think about how much Polly was probably praying right now. She wouldn't think about how stressed her brothers were, and how much they were drinking or overworking themselves over this entire situation. She wouldn't think about Finn, alone in the house with no one else to play with -

Shoving it away didn't work, clearly. She blinked away tears, but a few still rolled down her cheeks and she had to swipe at her face with a jacket sleeve before anyone noticed. Maybe sleeping on a real bed will help her feel more put together tomorrow.

"You get grumpy without a good night's rest," Aunt Polly grinned at her over the breakfast table, using a hand to smooth down her bedhead. Ada sat next to her, laughing lightly at her little sister's awful attitude.

"Should've taken you to an earlier showing of the film, Ali, I'm sorry. We can tell the boys you're too tired to go to the fair, we can always go again some other time."

"No, wait, I want to go to the fair..."

"How far away are we from Oxford?" She broke the tense, infuriating silence and stared at the back of Stag's head. She had to choke down more tears. Maybe if she tried harder to be mad at the man, she wouldn't think about the last time she had spoken to her family.