sunshine

eleven

i'm putting off other things because i'd rather write this. it seems a little boring but its necessary and i wanted to do a little insight on ophelia. also i have "claws" on right now and it's a pain in the ass to type. i broke one earlier and i thought it broke my soul along with it. ANDDD would you guys like a cast, orrr?

**warning**: this chapter contains graphic depictions of highly sensitive situations. please proceed with caution, or skip this chapter. thank you.

dedicated to cali_lovelychild13 for the sweet comment, it was pretty uplifting a couple days ago c:

-jewel

LAST WARNING: sensitive, triggering situations. do not make me warn you again.

eleven : drugs

This is so awful.

Oh my God. I'm going to fucking die.

I grabbed my stomach as a wave of pain washed over me. I was in physical pain, literally, after eating just two protein pancakes and the oatmeal my mother forced into my mouth. I was having stabbing pains all over. My head was pounding, my heart was jumping. I was in a complete panic since the second my mother dropped me off.

Initiate more lightening-like pain from hell.

I raised my hand, waving it eagerly waiting to be called on. My U.S. history teacher looked up from her book and called on me, closing her book with obvious exaggeration.

"Yes, Ophelia?" She huffed as though I interrupted her while she sobbed out the last of her life-time achievement award.

"May I use the restroom?" My voice was coated in agony. Beads of sweat began to form on my forehead and upper lip.

"Class has just begun, it can wait." She responded, turning to the board behind her, doodling a very bad depiction of the United States. It resembled a potato more or less.

"It cannot wait..." I interrupted her, I emphasized the urgency in my voice and face. "Please?"

I waited a moment for a reply. By now my classmates were all turned toward me, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I tapped my foot rhythmically, the tension rising in the room. The whispers and laughs had begun.

She was blatantly ignoring me now.

"Have it your way." I muttered as I shoved my chair back. I quickly gathered my notepad and backpack and marched toward the door.

The class gasped in unison.

"Ms. Mercier! You need to take a s--"

I could feel her eyes burning a whole through the back of my head as the door shut between us mid-sentence. It didn't matter what she said though. I didn't care. I was ill; sick to my stomach. My heart raced, my anxiety was through the roof. Anything she lectured this morning had went in one ear and out the other. I can't imagine how heated she probably was.

It wasn't the first time I had walked out of a class; but this was my second day. Can't wait to see the repercussions this will come with.

When I got to the bathroom, I quietly poked my head in and listened for anyone inside. When the coast was clear I nearly busted a stall door down and let loose. The contents spewed from my mouth in roughly chewed pieces. If I was anymore experienced at this, I would have chewed it to a puree before swallowing. Maybe if I hadn't been so glutenous this morning when I inhaled a plate of pancakes, not knowing a bowl of unwarranted oatmeal followed, I wouldn't be in here.

Tears streamed down my face, one after the other, following the same path to the bottom of my chin. In between heaves I wiped them off vigorously, makeup wasn't part of my daily regimen anymore.

I hated public restrooms, particularly school ones. They were generally all tile, and everything you did echoed like crazy. Even whispering was useless. I cleaned myself up and made sure the toilet was also rid of any evidence. This was usually the downfall of the rest of the day, I wanted to leave school and curl up at home; certainly not return to class.

Nowadays I carried a "feel better" pack with me. It contained toothpaste, a toothbrush, makeup wipes, things to help me freshen up. It was more like a "you're fucking destroying yourself, but go ahead, mask it," pack. The days I left home without it and had, well, these situations unravel, I would walk around feeling like absolute scum. Let's just say, I'm my own enabler.

I wet my bangs and combed them into a ponytail on top of my head. I looked so terrible today. I stared at my stupid reflection. My face was obviously pale and flushed. My eyes were red, my nose was red, lips also red. My arms were all dangly and lanky. My fingers are awkwardly long looking. Black leggings made my legs look awfully knobby. I wore a white v-neck t-shirt today too, and that did nothing for me.

I knew I couldn't hide out in the bathroom all day, and it was still a long time until lunch, not to mention how unquestionably filthy it is in here. I was just sliding my arm through the shoulder strap of my backpack when the bathroom door flew open with such force it smacked the trash can placed behind it. The eyes met mine, wide as cherry pies, and I must have looked just as startled because quickly hers lowered into an Ah ha! I caught you!

"You doing drugs in here?" She shout-whispered with an angry scowl. Something like a mother would flash her child in a grocery store to threaten them.

"Well... No?" I didn't know how to answer her. "I was using the facilities, Alice." Which wasn't a lie.

"I see." She paused for a moment. "Wanna go get some drugs?"

I drew back, at a total loss for words. This was Sylus' little sister, need I remind you. "What?"

"Or I can ask someone else." She backed toward the door.

There was this conversational eye contact again. My face was helpless, hers was devilish, much like her brothers. We both knew she had me in the bag though.

"Oh, come on." I growled pushing passed her, there was no way I was letting this girl get drugs all willie nillie. "How do you get out of here?"

She was smiling beside me, I could see it from the corner of my eye. "That was easy."

"Maybe I already notified Sylus his baby sister is asking me for drugs at school."

She snorted an inward laugh.

I shot her a glare.

"Sylus is the getaway car." She chirped.

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sorry for the wait AGAIN. but you know the deal. so yeah. still doing that. idk if any of you want to hear the whole story, so i won't type it here, but you're welcome to message me. unedited because i'm lazy with nails longer than dicks. k love you.