BLOOD DREAM (Ongoing)

2.1: Say Its Name To The Mirror

There existed a video that one of his friends took, back when Theron was 16, of him and Sadie snuggling on the couch. Theron hated it because somehow his friend, Liam Hill, had captured a rare moment of Theron at peace. In the video, Theron was seen from behind, docile with his head on Sadie's shoulder. Then she brushed her nose on his temple, kissed him, and he kissed her back. They were watching a movie with the lights off. He thought nobody would see. Liam interrupted the movie with an obnoxious coo and Theron ripped away from Sadie, eyes like electricity, crawling over the couch to exact his revenge. Sadie scowled at Theron to relax. The video ended with Theron taking the phone, his blurry hand an omen of what followed next. Liam got a scar under his eye from Theron that day.

He still had the video saved on his PC, but he hadn't watched it in forever. It punched him in the chest every time he saw Sadie's kiss. But it was all he could think about that evening—it was his most vivid memory of Sadie's unburdened affection. After the near mutilation of his dick, his lust withered away and left only miserable pining.

Theron spent the night hours revisiting various moments with Sadie, gauging how badly he was devastated. Spoiler alert: it was bad. He thought about the shitty moments where they argued and hit each other without resolution. He thought about good moments where Sadie laughed at his jokes and smiled at him, then wondered if it had been real. He thought about all his taunts that vexed her and damaged her psyche. Shoving her around, jabbing her bad moods. Discrediting her logic. Undermining her. Once, she tried to lead a patrol of the pack's territory with two other Dire girls their age, and Theron followed, criticizing her the whole time. Partly, he did it to spend time with her, but mostly, it offended him that she had this idea about taking the lead, as if her independence was a warning that someday she wouldn't need him, and he wanted to bring her down a peg. Sometimes he bullied her and it was more like he was her big brother than her boyfriend. No wonder she hates me, he moped. But this wasn't a new revelation. He had four years to realize how abusive he'd been.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise that she moved on. He knew she disdained him, but emotionally, he just couldn't accept it. It took Theron a year to get out of the slump brought on by his father's death and Sadie's disappearance. It took him another year before he tried to sleep with a girl, but he struggled to find his enthusiasm. Call Theron an abusive asshole, but he wasn't a cheater, and his heart was still with Sadie. When she said it to his face that she hated him, it hurt worse than anything they had ever done to each other.

By morning, Theron had been awake for hours and buried his face in the pillow, restless and frustrated. He still ached everywhere, but the pain diminished as the hours went on. He closed his eyes and thought he'd finally succumb to sleep before his chamber was intruded on.

The door opened and whisked in the damp, fruity smell of his sister's shampoo. Theron didn't react until she asked, "You still sleeping?"

He grumbled.

Kitra sat on the edge of the bed. "I told you not to go. You could have died."

What did it matter? He didn't know what to do with himself anymore.

"Everybody's pissed at you," she added. "But they're pissed at me too, so I guess I can't talk."

Theron rolled over. Donning sweatpants pulled up to her knees, a comfortable old t-shirt, and black hair bundled up on her head, Kitra looked as tired as he felt. She smirked at him.

"Yeah, I didn't expect to see you bust in with the wolves," he said.

"It kinda just happened," said Kitra.

"You followed them until they had no choice but to bring you?"

She smacked his leg, not caring if she struck a wound. "I came with them from the start. After Sadie got away, I sounded the alarm. Did you see what I did to her face?"