Life

Self Harm

⚠️Trigger warning⚠️: this chapter will discuss self harm, body image, mental health, and mentions of SA. Please don't read if these are sensitive topics for u. 

About 2 or 3 months ago I started making cuts with a pair of scissors these cuts were deep and I still have the scars these cuts were made because I felt ashamed of my body. I thought I was to fat and too developed. I was scared of getting raped. I have thought this because my mom  said I eat too much and my friend and I got food once and after I had finished she said 'Finally you stopped' implying that I had ate too much.

onto the story of my mental health. So fun fact the passed years of my life have been fucking hell. In 2016 my dad was in the hospital because of lung problems. In 2017 my mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer luckily survived but it had a large impact on my families life. In 2018 my mom had to get foot surgery I forget why. In the summer of 2019 my dad got in a car crash and had to get foot surgery and had I pin in his foot till mid fall. This had lead to anxiety and depression. I don't feel like talking about it now.

i still make the occasional cut like i made some a week or two ago but only one of my friends noticed because she was looking at me well i was helping her with something so my arm was facing toward her.

Also a couple months ago at the beginning of the schools year my friend i think was having trouble adjusting to the fact that i was making other friends, not in a possessive way but in a i miss hanging out with you way. But they started making a lot of self harm jokes and this was really triggering for my because i have actually done those things. I know what it feels like. 

Thats is a depressing chapter next chapter is about my social life. Which is also depressing. So buckle up!