A Weapon's Exorcist

falling in a pit, landing on a baka.

Echo stared at the teacher, eye twitching, as he grabbed Allen, strapped him to a table, and held a knife to his arm, talking about dissecting it and taking a better look at his Innocence.

Everyone gaped. Timcanpy, Allen's golem, made sounds of discomfort and anxiety. The little golden ball grabbed Echo by her jacket sleeve, jerking her out of her shock.

"Ah, Teacher? I'm pretty sure that dissecting students is frowned upon!" She yelped, grabbing the bed Allen was strapped on--Where the bloody hell did this thing even come from?!--and wheeling it away from the impending scalpel.

Stein blinked. "Hm? Oh, I suppose that's correct..." Echo plucked the scalpel from his hand, cut the straps binding Allen (she couldn't figure out how to undo them), and placed the scalpel back in his hand.

Allen sat up and scrambled away from the Professor. Stein sighed. "Well, if you ever die, just know that your dissection will be in good hands."

Allen yelped and his behind Soul and Maka. Tsubaki his her face as Black Star yelled, "Well what if I want to dissect him when he dies!? You can't challenge Go--" He went flying as Stein put a hand on his face and sent him flying before throwing three scalpels.

One scalpel stabbed the cloth of his shirt just above his left shoulder, another stabbed his shirt next to the right side of his abdomen, and the third pinned the cloth just below his...ahem....jewels.

Everyone gaped. Tsubaki yelled, "Black Star!" before rushing to the idiot's side. Black Star peered down, eyes the size of dinner plates, staring at the scalpel which nearly took away his ability to have children and/or piss straight.

Echo choked slightly. "Oh my God I've been enrolled at a crazy person's school." she managed, sitting in the corner while huddled in a ball. Black Star choked, "I'll let you off with a warning this time, because I'm a kind god." Echo twitched. "I'm surrounded by crazy people."

Maka patted the traumatized girl's shoulder and led her to her seat. Stein went in to introduce himself to the new students, following up with, "And if you undermine my authority, I'll have to dissect you."

He smiled.
Smiled.

The whole class shuddered. Stein said, "Speaking of dissection, here are the animals you will be dissecting today."

*one hour later*

When the bell rang, everyone fled from the room. The only one who was happy was Patty. Guess why. "It was sooooo fun to dissect that giraffe!"

Liz, on the other hand, was holding her stomach and mouth. "Good for you. But why the hell did he give us poor little animals to-- that poor bunny...." She shuddered.

Without warning, the ground rumbled. Echo, who had been being lead around in her traumatized state after having to stick a scalpel in a fox, snapped out of it and looked around. "What's happen--iiiiing?!?!" She let out a screech as the ground cracked open underneath of her.

Red lights flashed and Lord Death's voice yelled, "Students, please exit the building immediately! There is an intruder on the grounds! Please avoid any contact with anyone you don't recognize! Stranger danger, got it!?"

Allen grabbed Echo's hand and yanked her away just as the ground crumbled beneath her, trapping them (Allen, Echo, Maka, Kid, Black Star, and their weapons) on the opposite side of the door.

Echo looked around. "Is it just me, or did this place clear out pretty fast?" Allen yelped as the floor beneath him buckled. Echo's hand shot out, but Allen had dropped so fast that all she managed to do was fall with him.

Of course, the whole group being filled with extremely loyal idiots, Black Star grabbed Echo, Tsubaki grabbed Black Star and fell, Maka grabbed Tsubaki and fell, Soul grabbed Maka and fell, Liz grabbed Soul and fell, Patty grabbed Liz and fell, Kid grabbed Patty and fell, and some random kid grabbed Kid and fell.

Unfortunately, the kid lost his grip, fell against a rock, died, then had his body crushed as the floor collapsed on him.

But nobody cares about him.

The weapons and Meisters screamed as they fell. "THIS IS GONNA HURT LIKE A BITCH!" Black Star hollered. Echo glared. "YA THINK?!" Allen yelped, "THINK ABOUT HOW I FEEL! I'M ON BOTTOM!"

"THATS WHAT SHE SAID!"

"BLACK STAR, SHUT UP!" Everyone yelled in unison. A loud "OOF!" was heard as they slammed into the ground, all of them miraculously surviving the fall uninjured.

"Sound off, who's alive?" Echo called. A series of moans answered her. "Perfect." she stated, satisfied. She dragged herself out of the pile, then let out a yelp as she fell onto something cold and metal. "Ow. Hey, could you get off of me?"

Allen perked up. "Mugen?! That you?!" Echo got off of the sword weapon as she returned to her human form. "Yeah! Is that Allen?!" Allen squeezed out of the pile of weapons and Meisters as they reoriented themselves and tried to get up. "Yeah, it's me! Where BaKanda?"

"Somewhere at the bottom of your dogpile." The sword laughed as a grumbling Yuu crawled out of said pile. "Are you all right, Yuu?" Mugen asked, helping her Meister up and resisting the urge to laugh.

"Yuu! It's you, Yuu!" It was Lavi. The redhead cheered as he hugged his long-haired 'friend.' BHLH* ran up. "You found him!" The hammer weapon noticed everyone and his the scissors he'd been wielding behind his back.

Just then, Patty tripped, falling into Liz who fell into Soul who fell into Black Star who fell into Allen who fell into Maka who fell into Kid who fell into Lavi who fell into BHLH who fell into Mugen who fell into Echo who fell into Kanda, knocking the last 'domino' to the ground and landing on him.

Kanda grumbled. "I hate all of you. Mugen! Transform!"

*BHLH= big hammer little hammer because I don't know the official name for Lavi's Innocence.

Btw did anyone catch the foreshadowing? PM me if ya did! ;3 love y'all!