Let Me Be Your Home

Lucy's POV

The next morning, I wake up bright and early, ready to begin my independent study with Cordelia. As I take off the pajamas I borrowed from Cordelia, I look through the stuff we bough yesterday to pick out an outfit. Rifling through the layers of denim and grey, a sudden glimpse of baby blue catches my eye. As I pull it out of the bag, I realize it's the flowered romper I tried on yesterday. Attached to it is a note.

You looked too cute not to have this. -Delia

I decide to wear the romper. After all, I do want to impress Cordelia today. Or should I call her Delia, since that's what she wrote?

I find the greenhouse pretty easily. Opening the door, I am stunned by all the plants. There must be at least a hundred different species. 

I start to look around, feeling the leaves of the different plants. I lean over to smell the mint leaves I've just found. As I straighten up again, I feel hands on my bare shoulders. My breath hitches, but I quickly relax as I realize it's Cordelia. She slides her hands down my arms and to my waist, which she holds while leaning over my shoulder to see what I'm looking at.

"You like mint?"

I nod. I can't really form words with her hands on my waist like this. I'm basically caught between the table and her body. I decide to do the hokey pokey and turn myself around, leaning back onto the table with my hands. I'm now face to face with Cordelia, who is still holding onto me. Her eyes travel down my body, then back up to my face. I smile at her.

She releases her grip on me, and turns away, saying, "I see you liked my gift."

I look down and remember that I'm wearing the blue romper. I clear my throat, then say, "Yes, thank you... Delia." She looks back over her shoulder at me, acknowledging my use of her nickname. 

Cordelia picks up two mugs from the counter and hands one to me. "It's mint tea," she says. Then, she crosses back to the mint plant, plucking one of the fresh leaves and dropping it in my cup.

I hold the cup to my lips, taking a sip of the hot tea. Cordelia smiles at me. "So, are you ready to get started?" I ask, wanting to focus my mind on something other than her beautiful brown eyes.

Cordelia smirks, seeing through my change of subject. "Sure, let's get started. I wanted to begin with some questions to get to know your magic better."

"Ask away," I say.

"Was your encounter at the bar the first time you used your powers?"

"I think so."

"And were you trying to do magic, or did it just happen?"

"I don't know," I say. "I just got mad, and scared... it just sort of happened."

"I see," she says, a crease forming in her brow as she thinks. Then, Cordelia crosses to a more open space in the greenhouse. I follow her, and position myself to face her.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"I want you to close your eyes, and concentrate on a memory of feeling angry and scared. Not the memory of the guy at the bar, though," she says. "Think of another time you felt like this."

I close my eyes, and I am filled with emotion as I envision the hatred on my mother's face when she threw me out. I replay the scene in my head, watching her throw things at me and call me names. I feel my heart rate speed up, and as my mental motion picture plays the final frames of the Bible flying towards me, I feel a furious force flee from my soul.

I open my eyes to find Cordelia on the ground. I quickly kneel down next to her. "Are you okay?" I quickly ask. She sits up easily, nodding.

"That was quite a powerful force. If you can learn to control that..."Cordelia trails off, her eyes widening as she has a thought. She shakes her head to clear it, though, and asks, "What did you think of that brought on those emotions?"

"My mother," I say slowly. "When she threw me out of the house..."

"Tell me more."

I take a breath before diving into the story.

"I was sixteen. I was going through a period of emotional growth as I came to terms with some difficult truths about myself. I thought that I could tell my mother what I had figured out about myself, and that she would be able to deal with it. I was wrong."

Cordelia looks at me in a way that makes me want to cry. "Lucy..." she starts, and I know what she's going to ask. I think she knows the answer, too. "Why did your mother throw you out?"

I look at Cordelia, and her eyes tell me that I can't avoid this forever.

"Because... I told her that I'm a lesbian."

Cordelia gives a slight nod, which confirms my suspicion that she had already figured this out. And while I didn't expect her to yell or throw things, I was not prepared for what comes next.

She reaches out to me, pulling me into her lap. She holds me like a baby, cradling my head on her chest. I can hear her heartbeat as I curl into her embrace.