Boudoir Secrets

Chapter 39

Right fingers, left toes. Stand and raise your fingers to the sky. Left fingers, right toes. Repeat.

I had decided that it was time to bring some stretching into my life, excluding the contortions I made when enjoying the company of someone special. Things were stiff and sore and I couldn't even walk without a creak or crack anymore!

After an hour of stretching I went and sat in the garden with my little critters. I had been cooped up in my room writing for the past few days and needed a break. I craved sunshine and food. I needed to feel alive! While writing, I had come across a picture of my old cat and longed to have a little kitten to add to my eclectic collection. Only, I didn't know how they would all interact. Would they try to eat each other? Grimacing, I caught Amber and stroked her fondly in my lap.

A while back I had decided to learn to knit and so started the basic scarf. I wonder where I put it? I could do with a little knitting to distract me from my more basic needs and desires. So I stood and went searching. Within minutes I had uncovered the half finished scarf and returned to the grass to continue and hopefully finish the work. In, under, over, through... It was simple enough, yet I had made a disastrous mess of it! Some stitches were tighter, others so loose it looked as though there was a hole in the scarf. Not bad work for a first attempt. I'll just say it is meant to look like that. Very couture!

The gate monitor rang and I hesitated. Do I want company? I was enjoying my knitting. I continued in, under, over, through... It rang again. I hated impatient people! What did they want? Setting my work down, I stood and brushed my hands over my clothes to smooth them out. Adjusting my bra strap and running a hand through my hair, I walked over to the intercom and checked to see who it was.

Arianrhod.

Sigh.

"Yes?"

"I miss you. Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you. I am avoiding everyone. I have been writing and didn't want to be disturbed."

"Are you still writing?"

"I am knitting."

"Can I come in? I just want to see you."

I sighed again. Seem to be doing that a lot these days. Sigh. She could see me on the monitor. I bit my lip hesitantly.

"You can come in but only for a bit. I was taking a break but need to get back to my story."

Arianrhod's face lit up with genuine delight.

I pressed the buzzer and let her in.

At the door we hugged awkwardly. So much time had passed and the tension could be felt.

"I hear you have a new addition to the family."

"James?"

She took a deep breath and paused. No point in denying the obvious.

"James."

I stopped and turned to face her, realising one other person knew about Jade.

"Or was it Paul?"

I raised an eyebrow and stared at her. Waiting to see her reaction. She gave me a puzzled look and hid behind a mask, showing no emotion.

"Paul?"

So... we are going to pretend we don't know one another hey?

"Never mind. I thought you knew each other."

Arianrhod shook her head and cocked it to one side, looking intently at me. Trust had been broken and now both of us looked at the other with guarded gazes.

"Would you like a tea?"

Again, a shake of her head. Neither of us felt comfortable. It was like a stranger had walked into my home.

"Look, I don't know what has happened to us but I want to make it good."

I looked at her and didn't respond immediately. She reached out and took my hand in hers. Holding it, while she searched my face for a sign of a positive reaction. Arianrhod lifted it to her lips and gave my fingers a kiss. It took all the strength I had not to pull it out and scream. I knew something was not right. I could feel it. This was all far too weird for me.

"Would you mind if we did this another day? I really want to get back to my book."

I watched her take another long breath and look at my face. Sorrow marred her beautiful features. Maybe I was overreacting? She smiled and nodded her head, glad that she had not been dismissed entirely.

We hugged once more at the door, a little less rigidly and said our goodbyes. I let out a long breath. I didn't realise I was holding it nor why.

What was going on? Why did it feel like there was something amiss? Like I was missing something???