Boudoir Secrets

Chapter 73

What is real anymore? Was all this around me "real"? I feel ripped-off, rorted, disillusioned. Surely the powers that be would not let me disintegrate to nothing?

I lit the candles in front of the alter I had made to the Gods and Goddesses and sat cross-legged on the floor facing it, looking at the various images and wondering which was real and which was not. What if they were all fake? What if none of them were real and the only ones here are us? What if we have the powers we yearn for but have lost them in time, trapped in a never-ending loop of illusion? What if "God" or whatever we believe in is simply a joke? Have we given our powers to a being that doesn't exist?

My head hurt and I turned to watch the animals run around my house. The dogs were growing at an alarming rate but had been looking after me so well that I relented and let them into my home.

I was having a crisis. I didn't know what I believed in anymore. The noises I kept hearing were probably my over-active imagination. Of late it was getting difficult to detach myself from my book. I no longer knew where the boundaries were.

If only I wrote comedy!

A flash of light caught my attention and the dogs tumbled over one another trying to get out in the direction of the light. They barked until they grew hoarse and I cringed. I felt trapped, I needed to return to my cell.

I am so scared! Am I only jumping at shadows or was there someone out there?

What did they want from me? I have nothing to offer!

Once more I think of my alter and the images I had painstainkingly collected over the years. I light the incense sticks and the aroma floods the house, calms me and lets me forget the barking dogs and the person lurking in the shadows taking photos.

God, Goddess, whoever you are, if you exist, help me!

The man swore silently as he tripped and scraped his knee.

Not long now.