My Reason to Breathe

This Means War

Jasper held me tightly to his side, his arm was like concrete and I could tell he wasn't going to let go of me.

"Jasper?" I asked, struggling to get out of his grasp.

"Yes, Rae," he responded, his voice filled with obvious tension.

"Can we go now?" He wasn't looking at me, he was looking straight at Owen, hatred flaring in his -normally- gentle eyes.

"Anything you want. Let's go," Jasper said, starting to turn me to face the doors.

"Rae!" Owen called from behind me. I ignored him though and continued to walk out. He practically dragged me out to his car, I could tell he still wasn't over the Owen thing-y. There was still the one thing he didn't know that happened that night, my near-death experience. But now was probably not a good time to mention something I kept from him for 2 months. We'd tell each other everything, especially the exciting parts. The silence wasn't quiet at all, it was more like a hammer pounding on my head. But it was either that or I tell him. I chose, umm . . . life.

By the time we were at my house, I was getting sleepy again. He got out of the car, slamming the door behind him, and walking over to help me out carefully. He wrapped his arm around me, but not so tightly this time, he wasn't so tense but still very aware of something. He helped me up the stairs and opened the door for me.

"Here you go," he said, following close behind me as I walked up the stairs to my bedroom. "What's that?" Jasper asked, pointing to the picture book sitting by the side of my bed.

"That's my picture book, but it's not done yet," I said, trying to get his attention off of it.

He wrapped his arm around me, and took a picture of the two of us, the flash blinded me. "And . . .," he said as the picture from my polaroid camera he grabbed came out slowly. He walked past me and picked the book up, putting the photo of us into the last open slot. " . . . now it's done! Can we go through it now?"

"Fine! We can look through it." I plopped down on my bed next to him, taking the book out of his hands. "But! You can't judge any of the pictures of me, half of them are from 6th grade. 6th grade, that was not my year."

"I would never judge you, you're beautiful just the way you are, never think anything less."

"Okay. Okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise," I said, holding out my pinkie, waiting for him. A tear started to form in my eye and slowly fell down my cheek, this reminded me of Owen too.

"Does this remind you of him, too?" Jasper guessed, wiping the tears away.

"Well," I mutter, sniffling, "everything reminds me of him. How am I supposed to let go of the person that felt like home? It was just like, we were and then we weren't, what a simple, six-word story. This sucks," I complained, putting my face in my hands.

"I'm sorry, Rae. But . . ." A smile grew on his face as he lifted my head with his finger, "I love you now, so hopefully I'm good enough."

"Will you always love me?"

"I'll always love you."

"Always," I mumbled, cuddling into his arms.

We sat on my bed, flipping through my picture book, now complete, when a small picture fell face-down on the bed covers.

"What is that?" he asked as I picked up the small picture. The picture was of Owen and me, he was holding me close, kissing me, on the bottom, written in my scribbly handwriting, was a note that said; Owen and Rae, 2/21/17.