Learning to love

Chapter 3

Kyun headed back to the dorm in shock he made it. He's going to debut.. it was no where near was nu'bility was like, he still wished he was back in his original group.
He was standing in the way because Jooheon walked by him and shoved him.
Kyun was stunned by what his hyung did.
Kyun wanted to take his mind off it so he went into his dorm. He was glad nobody was in there, he wanted a minute to himself.
He sat down on his mattress and pulled out a picture. A picture of him with his parents. "I made it.. guys I made it.." he thought.
He must've been too occupied because he didn't hear kihyun behind him.
"You messed it up maknae.. GUN was suppose to debut.. not you.. you messed it up." Kihyun said it firmly but not in a mean tone.
Kyun ignored him by putting his earbuds in.
Kihyun got pissed and left. It was him by himself again. He was perfectly fine with that.

He got up and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. On his way out of his bedroom, he noticed Minhyuk and Jooheon crying over the departure of their friend Gunhee.
"It's his fault.. he took guns place.." Minhyuk whimpered.
Kyun walked past them and grabbed a glass out of the dishwasher.
He filled it up and drank it. It was ice cold. He hadnt drank anything all day.
He set the cup in the sink and walked off. He wanted to go back to the room and lay down.
When he went to rest, Kihyun came into the room again.
"Hey we have practice in an hour. We need to work on our debut song. Be ready."
Kihyun left and kyun didn't say a thing.
Kyun wore an old tshirt and a pair of sweats to rehearsal.
Hoseok glared at him in disgust. "Your wearing that..?"
"Yeah I don't have a lot of clothes with me so I just grabbed this."
Kyun went and grabbed a water before getting ready.
The music played and they rehearsed their dance moves.
In the middle of the second verse, changkyun missed his byline and crashed to the floor.
"UGH YOUR SO USELESS MAKNAE WHY ARENT YOU DOING ANYTHING RIGHT!"  Minhyuk lashed out on him. Jooheon just nodded his head.
"I.. I'm sorry I didn't mean to." Kyun was on the verge of crying.
Minhyuk flipped him off and left to use the restroom.
It was just kyun and everyone else.
Kyun got up and went outside. He sat in the grass with his head in his hands.
"Am I really that bad?" Thoughts swirled in his head.
He stayed out there for an hour before the manager came to pick everyone up.
"You boys have the week off. Start up again next week" the manager dropped them off and as usual,  kyun was last to get out.
He walked to the restroom and Kihyun scoffed at him.
Kyun closed the bathroom Door behind him.
He began searching the restroom until he could find a shaving razor that had hair in it.. gross.
Kyun got the blade out and cleaned it.
He hesitated before doing something bad.
He slid the blade across his wrist slowly. He cried as the blood dropped onto the floor.
As his tears were dropping, he thought to himself "I'm no good.. nobody even likes me..." he was about to make another line before Kihyun yelled for him to come eat.
He put the blade behind the toilet so nobody would see it. He grabbed a toilet paper wad and cleaned the blood up.
He put a small bandage over his three fresh marks. He grabbed an old hoodie and threw it over so nobody would see his arm.
He trudged to the living area and sat down.
Through out the meal, he was getting glares from multiple members.
He pushed the bowl of kimchi away from him and excused himself.
"That's weird. He hasn't usually missed a meal with us." Kihyun said as he watched kyun into the bedroom.
"Who cares.. he's just pouting over something stupid. Let him suck it up." Jooheon said as he grabbed the bowl that kyun left.

Back in the room, kyun went and grabbed the razor. He stripped the bandaids from his skin and made two more marks. He was trying to hide his tears but he just let them go.

He heard a knock on the bathroom door.