Forget to Love

Chapter 8 - Forget

Hitori stood in shock, trying to process who this person was, but he gave up after a few moments. After everything that had happened that day, a floating woman on his balcony didn't seem so strange, and he was too exhausted to really question it.

She was stunningly gorgeous, reminding him of every person he'd ever thought was beautiful. Her icy-blue dress flowed around her like she was underwater, ribbons circling around her legs in a hypnotic dance. He struggled to remind himself to not stare. She carried a queen-like aura of regality around her that glowed like the moon. Behind her, further in the sky, was the moon itself. Though it had previously been full when it had risen, it was now a hollow ring, like the sun during an eclipse.

He had no idea who this woman was, but anyone who could fly deserved respect. He bowed.

"Please tell me your name, madam."

She smiled a delicate smile. "I am beyond names, young one, but you may call me Aiki. I am what you may call, the goddess of love. I am the powerful embodiment of everything and everyone you hold dear, and it is my responsibility to ensure that this love, like a flame, never dies." She slowly descended until she touched the floor of the balcony. He remained unnaturally calm, like he was watching himself in a movie or a bad dream.

"I'll ask you again, child. Who do you love?" She stared at him encouragingly, like she had asked him to recite the alphabet. His head still hurt and he was exhausted, but her smile was so earnest he decided to humor her. He concentrated. The pain in his skull increased again. There was a girl... His chest felt like it opened up like a fresh wound. What was her name?

He sighed, letting the thoughts and questions away from himself again. The pain subsided. "I... I don't know. I don't think there is anybody. And..." He forced himself to look Aiki in the eyes. "I don't want to. It just hurts too much, to love. But it also hurts to not love..."

Aiki smiled and stepped toward him, raising her hand like she was about to cast some sort of magic spell or smite him. He closed his eyes. She caressed the side of his face like his mother. Her touch was surprisingly warm, unlike a ghost's. The feeling spread through his whole body. He sharply inhaled, his pupils dilating.

"Sabishi-chan."

The memories suddenly came back to him like a flood. The day at the café, the night at the theater, the confession, and the death. He felt sick to his stomach again, but he couldn't let go of these memories for anything. Never again. It was all he had left of her.

"You have my sincere apology, but I did what was best for you." She stepped back, leaving him to stand in shock, a thousand thoughts going through his head at once. "I withheld some of your memories because they were causing too much suffering. Now—"

"You have the power to give and take memories? Did you also turn back time?" He had found his voice, allowing the questions to flow before his head exploded. "Wait, where's Sabishi-chan? I need to find her and—"

"Stop," Aiki commanded forcefully. He had turned so quickly to leave he had to skid to a stop.

"You may have your memories back, but you don't know the full story yet. We've never met, so everything that has happened up until now has remained a mystery to you. Allow me to explain... I was the one who took you back in time, Hitori-kun. I heard your prayers, even if they weren't very prayer-like. I gave you a second chance. In fact, I gave you hundreds of chances. Do you remember?"

Hitori had assumed those memories were only bad dreams or thoughts. It's difficult to quickly sort out your memories when they're handed back to you in such a jumbled mess. But now he understood them more clearly. The knife, the pill bottles, those many times that he had failed and Sabishi had died. Then, himself hanging from a rope. It had all become so hard. It hurt so much.