Her Reality (Sequel to His Little Sister) *Completed*

Chapter 10 - Goodbye

September 29th. My last day. I’ve been busy for the last few weeks. I’ve been spending time with my friends, completed a few albums, made and scheduled some videos, and planned tomorrow out perfectly. After we, meaning all my friends and I, went to Disneyland I sent them all a text telling them to spend the entire day, today, without me. They can’t contact me at all under any circumstances. My room is locked so they couldn’t check on me if they wanted. I’m not in there but it would ruin my plan. Even if they were to contact me all my belongings are in my room. I have nothing with me. I guess you’re wondering what I’m doing or you might’ve figured it out already. I’m going to kill myself once and for all. In a way they can’t revive me. I just can’t take it anymore. I have everything planned and done. I know it’s going to hurt them but eventually they’ll get over it. That’s why I made sure to spend time with everyone. Because I don’t want them to say at my funeral that my last few weeks I just moped around my room and shit. I wanted them to have one last happy memory of me. I wrote them all letters explaining that it wasn’t their faults. I even wrote letters to both my fans and my haters. I know they might not want to post the letters tomorrow so I scheduled a YouTube explanation video to upload at noon tomorrow and it will automatically be tweeted out. I wrote a letter to my parents that should arrive tomorrow. I made a Christmas album, my third album, and a special album that’ll come out on Shawn’s 18th birthday. I mean it’ll be my birthday too but it wouldn’t matter anymore.

I think my death will hit Shawn the hardest. He’s used to doing everything together. Even while he was on tour he’d facetime me so I wouldn’t miss out. I made him a video of us made up of home videos and pictures and all of his favorite songs playing in the background. I’m singing the songs to make it more meaningful. I wrapped it so he would open it on our birthday. On my will I instructed that my bank account to be empty and my car be sold. The money from both the car and my bank account were to be donated to Crisis Text Line to help teens in similar situations that actually can be saved. So is the money that I would be getting from my music.

I lied about something. About having nothing with me. I’m sitting on a tree branch in a forest clutching a piece of paper with my favorite poem on it. I also lied about the time and day. My watch said 5:30 am on September 30th. I was just thinking and lost track of time. I’ve also been reading this poem over and over again like a broken record. The poem is from The Perks of Being a Wallflower I’ve read the book thousands of times since I could read and I was happy when they made a movie. I’m still not sure if the author wrote the poem for the book or some poet wrote it but the poet was just unknown but I loved it regardless. I began to read it one last time. I put the rope around my neck and looked at the paper. I know it by heart but there is something reassuring about reading the familiar words. I began to read the words out loud.

“Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

He wrote a poem

And he called it ‘Chops’

Because that was the name of his dog

And that’s what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

And a gold star

And his mother hung it on the kitchen door

And read it to his aunts

That was the year Father Tracy

Took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus

And his little sister was born

With tiny toenails and no hair