Her Reality (Sequel to His Little Sister) *Completed*

Chapter 9 - Last Kiss?

After a long morning of us all trying to figure out what to do while we sat in my room we finally decided what to do. We’re going bowling and then we’re coming back here with food and having a movie night in my room. Boys are so picky. They took forever to choose what to do. I didn’t care what we did as long as I got to spend time with them. Now that we decided they’re taking forever to leave. They’re in the kitchen or in the bathroom.

“I swear to God you guys are worse than girls. Hurry the fuck up before I leave you all here!” I yelled waiting at the front door. I obviously wouldn’t leave without them but they don’t know that. One by one the boys start going out the door. I head out after Taylor and lock the car door. Cam is in the driver’s seat and Nash, Gilinsky, and Johnson are fighting for the front seat. Taylor and I climb into the back seat while we wait for the three idiots outside to figure out who sits upfront. A few minutes later Johnson sit in the front seat and Gilinsky and Nash slide in the back seat with defeat on their faces.

“So Jordan, what’s up? Like why do you want to hang out with us all of a sudden? Not that we’re complaining.” Nash asked over the music that Johnson played as soon as Cameron started backing out of the driveway.

“We haven’t hung out in a while with everyone doing their own things. I thought I’d take advantage of you guys being off before something came up for one of us.” It wasn’t completely a lie. I haven’t seen them all together since the beginning of summer. Cam and Nash are always busy with TV show appearances and starring in movies. I rarely hang out with them together. I’d go to their house and at least one of them was there. The Jacks were sometimes there. I hang out with the Jacks more only because we’re all musicians meaning we help each other with songs and do collaborations. Taylor is the one we all hardly see. Even though he has a house out here he’s never there. He isn’t exactly sure what he wants to do yet. He’d try something, convince himself that he’s terrible at it, and quit. I think he feels like that because all the other guys found something to do and he feels like the king of flop city. He calls me from time to time when he gets sad. I could be having a super bad day and I’ll still try everything I can to make him and everyone else happy. He loves meeting fans so he does things like the RV project from time to time. He doesn’t let what people say affect him. Instead he beats himself up. Enough sad thoughts; today supposed to be a happy day. A day that they’ll look back at and smile like idiots. At least I hope they have a memory of me. Didn’t I just say no negative thoughts?

I snap out of my thoughts to Gilinsky and Nash trying to mess with Johnson and Taylor is filming them. I smile at their stupidity.

****

I was lying on the roof watching the sun set. Turns out we all really suck at bowling so the game ended quick. We ended up going to the market and Taco Bell to get a whole bunch off food before coming back here to have a marathon. The combination of food, it being dark in the room, and movies playing in the background caused everyone to fall asleep. Since I had nothing else to do I decided to watch the sun set and look at the stars. I had my music playing on full blast to block off the noise of passing cars and the birds. I was mainly thinking though; about what I am going to do. If I finish everything I need to do before the 30th than I’m going to have to fast pace it. Tomorrow I’ll ask Kian and Jc if they’re busy. Or Maybe I’ll go over to Matt’s to hang out with him and Carter. I felt something touch my shoulder and I screamed sitting up. I ripped off my head phones and turned around to see Taylor literally laughing his ass off.

“What the fuck Taylor! You gave me a heart attack.” I said clutching my chest. Taylor, still laughing sat down next to me. Both of our legs are hanging off the roof.

“Sorry babe. I stood there for like 5 minutes calling your name but I guess you couldn’t hear me. I didn’t know how else to get your attention.” Taylor was still laughing but he calmed down a little.

“What’s up?” I asked as I turned off the music.

“I woke up and saw you weren’t in the room. Everyone else is still asleep but I got bored. I saw your window open and took a wild guess.”

“Well now you can watch the sun set with me.”

“Actually I kinda came to talk to you about multiple things.”

“Shoot.”

“Uh okay. First, what are you doing? What I mean is that yesterday you hung out with Aaron, today with us, and tomorrow you’re hanging out with someone else. Why?”

“I’m making memories with people. I know that I won’t stop trying and you know that I won’t stop trying. It’s the rule of three. The next time I try I know that I’ll be gone. I know for a fact that When you die or about to die your life flashes before your eyes. I had more sad memories than happy ones. I just want my memories to be happy. And want everyone to have a happy memory of me. I—” I was cut off by Taylor’s lips on mine. I’m caught by surprise by I end up going along with it until Taylor and I both pull apart.

“Uh… wow. Okay”

“W-what was that?”  Taylor wipes his thumb on my cheek.

“You were talking and you started crying and that was the only way you to get you to stop was to kiss you.”

“But kissing me seems so extreme.”

“The other thing I wanted to talk to you is that I uh… I’m kinda sorta in love with you. I have been for a while actually but you were dating Aaron. Then you two broke up and I was kinda happy but sad for you. I was giving you time to get over him and I was okay I’ll wait a while longer. But then you went out with Aaron yesterday. I was crushed. I decided I needed to tell you before you two got together or something.”

“Oh God. Um… I-I need to use the bathroom. I’m sorry I just can’t— I need to go.” I started climbing back in my room and saw a heart breaking look on Taylor’s face. I go into my bathroom and lock the door. No I wasn’t going to hurt or kill myself. I was going to have a panic attack and I rather not have on the roof in front of Taylor. I rummage through my drawers looking for my inhaler. I hear knocking on the bathroom door. If I don’t open it they’ll think I tried to off myself and call 911. I open the door shaking a lot.

“Jordan I’m so sorry to spring this all.”

“T-Taylor it’s okay. I just can’t breathe.”

“Okay, okay where is your inhaler?”

“I.. don’t… know!”

“Jordan, look at me. Okay? Think happy thoughts and try to breathe. Concentrate on that while I look for your inhaler.” Taylor starts looking in my medicine cabinet and finds my inhaler.

I know it seems stupid to have a panic attack over a kiss and a love confession but its complicating thing. It’s going to be harder when I kill myself knowing that I’m leaving Taylor broken hearted. Literally.

“Hey. I’m sorry I freaked like that.” Taylor and I sat in the bathtub like idiots.

“I’m sorry I kissed you and confessed my love for you.”

“Don’t be. I just can’t get into that type of relationship. Not now, not ever. I made a rule for myself after the whole Aaron thing.”

“What’s your new rule?”

“No dating or sleeping, in sexual context, with friends. Last year was a mess and so was the end of my relationship with Aaron and I don’t want to end up hurt or hurting anyone.”

“I’d redo last year if I had the chance. I’d call off the stupid bet or at least not participate. I’d protect you from everyone and everything that happened.”

“I wouldn’t, not that I’m denying your offer but if none of that happened last year then I’d never have the opportunities I have now. I’d be stuck in Canada with my parents while Shawn was on tour.” Taylor was quite. After our little talk we discussed memories that we’ve made until we fell asleep.