Eridanus ~ A Collection Of Short Stories

A Precarious Partnership

"It's just stupid. Whoever heard of stealing dinnerware?"

"It's made of crystal, Jane, and awfully tempting."

"Crystal dinnerware. Even more ridiculous!"

"Well, beggars can't be choosers, you know."

"We're not beggars, Russell. We're thieves."

Most conversations between Jane and Russell began and ended in this manner. Two skilled, experienced criminals who had joined forces to maximise output, only to find their love for arguments.

"The Mason residence is going to be a gold mine, Jane, and we are going to stick to the plan," Russell declared with an air of seriousness.

Jane rolled her eyes. "We can stick to the plan if you don't constantly argue and prove to be an amateur!" she remarked.

"Amateur? I believe it takes one to know one, Amateur Jane Sykes. When you approached me and I agreed to make you a partner, I expected some level of maturity and skill," Russell retorted, putting away his bag of lock-picking tools.

Jane scoffed, packing her black gloves in her backpack.
"When you agreed to make me a partner? Are you an amnesiac as well as an amateur? You approached me for a partnership deal, Russell Robins," she stated, smirking.

"And look where we are now!" Russell shook his head. "Arguing like bitter rivals and wasting time when we've got a house to break into."

Jane sighed. "Fine," she replied, slinging her bag across her shoulder. "Fine. I can put aside my ego for a night if you'll do the same."

Russell nodded, putting on his jacket. "That's the spirit," he muttered, as the two of them walked out and loaded the car with their equipment. The moonlit night facilitated vision without the need for a torch.

"Mason residence, you'll be in for a surprise... Courtesy of the company of Russell and Jane," Russell remarked with a grin as he started the car and revved the engine.

"I think it sounds better as the company of Jane and Russell," a feminine voice drawled from the back seat. Russell clenched his jaw and drove off, leaving a cloud of dust. 

*****

"I thought you told me to take a left in five meters," Russell called to his partner as he gazed at the street they were driving on, a slight frown on his face.

"I said turn left in ten metres!" Jane replied, a wrinkled map in her hand. Russell groaned.

"You took me the wrong way! If that isn't amateurish, I don't know what is!" he remarked irritatedly.

"Don't blame me. If you were awake and listening to my instructions, we'd be at the Mason residence ten minutes ago," Jane replied casually.

"I'm sure we would," Russell muttered. "Okay, we're here. Get the bags I'll park the car in the corner."

Jane complied and picked up two black bags on the car seat. Russell met her at the house gates after parking the car in a secluded corner of the street.

The Masons were out of town for the week and their housekeeper had just headed back home. The family were one of the wealthiest in the neighborhood, and the duo had planned their steps laboriously –

Their entry through the balcony, the rooms they would raid and their exit through the backdoor. The burglar alarm was triggered by the front door only, so the thieves had excluded that as a means of entry.

"Right. Grappling hook," Jane muttered, fetching a hook from her backpack and fastening it onto the balcony railing. She handed one end of the grappling hook rope to Russell, who climbed up first. Jane followed suit after he'd reached the first floor and thrown down the rope.

Russell studied the lock on the balcony door and opened his bag, taking out his tools and getting to work. The door swung open in ten minutes. Russell closed his bag and beckoned for Jane to follow him.

"Right, we'll split up," he whispered to his partner. "You take the bedroom and I'll head downstairs." Jane nodded.
She walked down the corridor as Russell headed down the stairs.

The bedroom door wasn't locked, and Jane swiftly walked over to a portrait next to the bed. She felt around the frame for a minute and then pulled a concealed lever. The portrait swung on a hinge to reveal a metal safe. She retrieved a brush from her bag and began to dust for fingerprints on the keypad.

Meanwhile, Russell had made his way to the kitchen and found the crystal dinnerware cabinet. He opened his bag and carefully placed the crystal plates into it, having lined the bag with foam wrapping. He had just finished packing the last crystal glass when Jane walked down the stairs.

"I've got the money," she declared with a crafty smile. "I would've expected you to have finished by now."

Russell zipped up his bag and glanced at her. "I am done. I was just making sure I didn't leave any traces behind."

Jane eyed the large bag of dinnerware disdainfully. "I didn't know stealing dinnerware took so much of time," she remarked.

"Well I prefer going slowly, not tripping up burglars alarms or waking up dogs," Russell retorted. He paused, as they looked at each other for a second.

"Dogs." The duo whipped their heads towards the door, where a huge German Shepherd had appeared from the living room. He took a moment gazing at the strange intruders. The dog came to the conclusion that the two people weren't welcome in the house.
Bearing his yellow canines, he rushed at them.

Their eyes grew wide and in a split second, they bolted for the back door, the bags slung across their shoulders.

"You didn't know they had a dog?!" Russell shrieked as he ran across the sofa alongside Jane.

"Don't pretend you knew they had a dog!" she yelled back, trying to throw a cushion at the German Shepherd to fend him off.

The dog was a few feet away from them and the two were running around the sofa in circles.

"That's the door, let's go!" Jane exclaimed, holding onto her bag of money for dear life. Russell bounded after her, breathing heavily and casting a frightful look at the pursuing animal.

They placed their hands on the doorknob at the same time and yanked it open. Turns out, it was the front door, not the backdoor.

The burglar alarm came to life and a dreadful howl resounded in the entire neighborhood. You pretty much know how that ended up.

*****

Russell flopped down on the hard concrete bench, sighing with annoyance. Jane paced up and down the prison cell aimlessly.

"Whose idea was it to rob the Mason residence anyway?"

"Oh, shut up."