🖤EMERGE🖤

Chapter 9

Cool air brushes against my face, gentle yet sharp like a whisper I can't fully grasp. Each breath I take feels foreign, heavy, as if my lungs have forgotten how to work on their own. A low, rhythmic beeping tethers me to consciousness-a lifeline in the darkness. My eyelids feel like lead. My entire body aches, not just physically but somewhere deeper, somewhere hollow. Slowly, I force my eyes open, only to be met with sterile, blinding might that stings like needles.

"Where... Where am I?" My voice is a cracked whisper, hoarse like it had been lost in a storm.

"Hospital." That voice-familiar, breaking, trembling- grounds me more than the machines could. I shift my gaze and see him: my Dad. His shoulders are hunched, and his eyes... God, his eyes are glassy, rimmed in red, as if he's been holding back a tidal wave this whole time. "You scared the hell out of me, Alex. I thought I lost you. I thought that I lost you to that idiot."

His words slice through the haze, the pain, the fear-sharp and raw. He closes his eyes, jaw clenching as he fights whatever emotion is tearing him apart.

I swallow the lump in my throat. "I lost myself..." My voice cracks, unsteady. "I don't even remember it. I-I just remember everything going dark... and then laying on the floor with you suited up... everything's blurry. Like I was drowning and didn't even know I was under."

He rises from his chair, and in two swift steps, he's wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into a protective, desperate embrace. His grip is tight, like letting go might mean losing me again. "I'm so sorry I let you down," he whispers into my hair. "I should have looked for you harder when you left."

Tears prick my eyes. I grip his back like a child lost and finally found. "I should be the one apologizing, Dad. I don't even know what happened. Loki came to me and asked me to fight with him and I just... I just left with him." My voice trembles, which with shame. "Then he started his mind control thing... and I-I wouldn't have joined him if I was thinking straight... I don't know what's wrong with me." The truth tastes bitter on my tongue, like acid coated in regret.

Dad pulls away, sits back down, and folds his arms, though his face betrays how much he wants to stay by my side. He leans back in the chair, eyes fixed on the floor like it might offer him some kind of answer. "He's gotten under your skin." I shake my head furiously, but I know he's right. "Yes... Yes he did. I saw this all before. With you."

The silence afterward is suffocating.

I bite down on my cheek until I taste iron. "I can't, I can't, I can't."

"You can't help who you have feelings for," he murmurs, pain lacing every word. "But I don't know why it's him of all people." He drags a hand down his face and sighs, the sound filled with heartbreak and exhaustion. "I don't like it. Because of him, you're in this hospital bed. Because of him, I had to put my daughter here."

* * *

Walking into the tower feels like dragging my soul behind me. The weight of everything I've been trying to bury is pressing into my chest, and my limbs move like they're trudging through wet cement. Dad's footsteps echo behind mine, each one a steady reminder I'm not alone-and yet, somehow, I've never felt more isolated. I'm tired. Bone-deep, soul-rottingly tired. And annoyed. No-angry. Maybe both. Honestly, I don't even know what I feel anymore. Everything is twisted inside me, like wires sparking in the dark.

"Kiddo, what's your issue? We kicked ass, why aren't you more excited?" His voice cuts through the thick fog in my mind, lighthearted, too lighthearted for the storm raging inside me. I say nothing. Just press the elevator button harder than necessary, the metallic thunk of it barely grounding me. I step in. "Did I do something?" he asks, confusion laced with concern. I sigh, crossing my arms tight over my chest, trying to hold myself together before I unravel. "Alexandria, look at me." He turns me around gently but firmly, eyes searching mine for answers I don't even know how to give.