Our journal together

Pixelated world

I was planning on writing a long chapter about the detrimental impact technology causes in dehumanising humans and the environment, however, I found this song called 'Two Dimensions' by Easha about rejecting reality. This chapter 'Pixelated world' will be the only positive composition I will be writing. Technology and fantasy is the only escape route from reality. 

4:20 am eyes open, feeling a sense of calm. 

Hands-on the table to reach the phone, goes on TikTok, scrolling down my fyp.

Checks the time "6:20 am" hmm

It is a cozy morning. I'm covered with silky white bedsheets, feeling the cold breeze coming into the room every few minutes. 

Stares at the blue-toned walls that is reflected through the window light next to the bed.

Continues scrolling down my fyp.

Watches an anime Y/N roleplay edit. 

I lay back, looking up to the ceiling, with the TikTok song playing on the background, I fantasise about being the only powerful character in My Hero Academia, as I, Hawks and Dabi have a triangle relationship. 

Feeling a sense of  great relief 

As my story ended I get up for an early breakfast, but the feeling of overwhelm and anxiety covers me from behind. I lay back down on my back looking up the ceiling, this time I fantasise about being a transfer student at UA High in class 1-A, Bakugo and I having an open relationship.  

Another feeling of relief but this time my mind demands more or should I say it craves it.

I close my eyes, this time my mind is blank. I feel unsatisfied. 

Alarm rings 

"Right, I need to go grocery shopping"

Wears a hoodie and gets a headphone and a wallet. Leaving the door, I stop to put on my headphone and choose a playlist according to my mood. 

I feel empty today as well...plays 'numb playlist' 

I walk to the busy streets, and there I feel the sense of being exposed to the conforming society. Everywhere you walk or sit down, everyone's on their phone whilst walking. I feel different not looking at my phone while walking, maybe I am the main character? Everyone looks like a walking corpse. In reality, the screen is just protecting you from reality, giving you a sense of security and relief, but I am not joking about them looking like zombies walking around. I do understand technology; phones do distract you away from judgmental human affairs, but it is sad to see them being like that... 

When we watch a video reflecting or commenting on our present society, some are just sad. Especially the videos about the relationship between humans and their phones. When you look at someone who's really into their phone, they look stupid, or empty. I don't know... I did see people on their phones but I never really paid much attention. The way I fantasise, my feelings and emotions are real but my physical body is doing nothing, but looking like a corpse. I guess it is the same for those who are constantly on their phone. It's as if SAO(Sword Art Online) is real. I go into my Virtual World, have fun and come out to reality, feeling empty in the end because I know the truth that endless happiness, in reality, is unattainable. Like I spiritually go into my fantasy world, people going on their phones are exactly the same. 

The world of my imagination is a safe place for me like the people who find their bedroom their comfort zone. 

I wonder... I am 100% sure without a doubt I am not the only one. The lands and property are taken over, taxes rise, everything is more expensive and stable jobs aren't easy to find either. The only escape every human have right now and in the future is our fantasy world. Though some people like to distract themselves from reality by playing games, listening to music, drawing, writing and more but, the true escape from reality is staying in our world of imagination. I can see that there is a future where we can forever be in our fantasy world with just a chip inserted in our brain. 

Comes home from the grocery and sits down on the sofa 

As I am about to go back into the pixelated world, I stare at the mirror in front of me, reflecting myself; an empty body as the soul enters the different universe.