Lifeboat

15. Nightmare

"Can we slow down for a minute? I honestly don't see how it's going to make a difference, we're obviously going to make it before dawn." I stopped dead in my tracks with my hands on my hips. "What is it with you and rushing to be everywhere?"

Dante's back stooped forwards as he came to a halt, knee high in swaying grass. Without turning to me he threw back an answer, his tone irritated and deep.

"If you don't want to follow me, then please, by all means, go away and leave me alone. Go back to Marco, why don't you?"

The unexpected roughness of his reply caused me to reconsider what I was going to do with the choices I had forgotten I possessed. Should I turn around and head back to the surly, unwelcome face of a man who obviously couldn't stand the sight of me? Just to spite Dante?

He started striding off away from me, leaving a path of bent and broken greenery behind him for me to follow. And of course, as I'm sure he knew, I came after him.

The first line of buildings we got to were low, white outhouses. Probably for storage. They were lit by a row of soft, blue lights around the edge of the roofs and doorways. Dante held up his hand to stop me and I gratefully rested my sweaty forehead on a cool wall. It had steadily become harder for me to keep up the pace set by this long-legged man, and my lower abdomen throbbed.

"We can take cover here from dawn."

He sounded a bit happier than the last time he'd spoken to me, making me calmer in return. It wasn't nice to hear him angry, not sassy-angry as in the village, but actually annoyed. There was a big difference and I hoped not to hear it again.

"Okay, that's a good idea."

He brought out a round object from his coat pocket, similar to a pebble, and pushed it onto the lock of the door until we heard a click. Glancing around, he deemed everything to be safe and ushered me into the building.

As he closed the door behind us the sweet yet musty smell of cut grass enveloped us. It was dark inside, a couple of thin air vents at the top of the walls allowed in the pale light from outside. My eyes slowly grew accustomed while Dante pushed past me, going further into what I would have described as a barn.

"We can take a rest here for a few hours, Tyke. No one will be out until the dawn passes."

"I wonder why?" I couldn't resist the sarcasm.

He cleared his throat and tossed his jacket off onto a mound of something on the floor. Coming closer, I could see it was hay, piled up in similar heaps all around the barn. When he sunk his long body down onto the hay, a warm heat wafted out of the squished grasses. This was going to be nice.

I also stretched out down on the hay, not too close to him, but as near as I dared. From my position I not only smelt and felt the warmth of the hay, but also benefited from the odour of his body. Why did he have to smell so good? Even after a full night's walking, he still appealed to all my senses.

It took him about two minutes before I heard him snoring. However, this time it wasn't enough to keep me awake and I drifted off.

The man is gripping my arm. He isn't going to let me go. He wants to have me under his control and he's never letting me escape. He's staring at me - grey blue eyes - I have to fight back. I can't let him win. He's hurting me! My stomach aches. The baby - his baby - he says she's dead.

Soaked in sweat and gasping for breath, I broke free from the nightmare, waking up with a yell. Instantly, I was hit with unbelievable pain in my abdomen, as if an axe had been swung into it. A hard pressure beared down on my insides, the area where I had carried the lost pregnancy. My cries must have woken Dante and he knelt over me, his face stretched with shock. His voice faded in and out as I dealt with bursts of pain taking over my system.

"Poll! Poll, what is it? What's wrong? Did you fall? Did you eat something in the forest? Where does it hurt?"

I had no control over my senses anymore, shaking with fever, burning from the inside. The only thing I was aware of beyond the pain was the image of the man from the nightmare, his face morphing into that of Dante's. One becoming the other.

The next thing I knew, I was lying with my head on Dante's thighs. The pain had gone, leaving me with a solid sensation throughout my body. He stroked my hair and hummed a tune in his deep, rich tones. I was so relieved that I must admit that I closed my eyes again quickly so that he wouldn't stop too soon. The lightness of this beautiful moment soothed me, I wanted it to go on forever.

"Poll," He stopped humming and I felt him leaning over to look at my face. "I know you're awake, you little tyke. Are you better?"

Reluctantly I opened my eyes, greeted by the closeness of his handsome face and dark eyes searching mine. When I spoke, my voice took a second to readjust to normality.

"Humm, yes, yes I'm okay now. I think."

"Do you have any idea what it was? Is it something that's happened before?"

His face, full of concern, made my heart ache with gratitude for his feelings.

"No, never, but I seem to remember that it did happen before. But I can't think of when. Does that make any sense?"

Dante half-smiled and smoothed the hair back from my forehead.

"I suppose it does. Listen, I think we should stay here a while longer, let you get your strength back."

Closing my eyes, I whispered back. "Yes, I think so too."

While we rested together, Dante continued to ask questions, probing into my reluctant memories, trying to get out as much information as he could I guess. I was only too happy to reply. What I could recall came as no particular interest, of that I was sure, school and girly everyday routine must have bored him. Eventually he gave up the questioning and took a different tack.

"Can you think back to when you were pregnant?"

"Vaguely. It wasn't for very long."

"That's not important. Can you describe what it was like for you?"

"I don't know really how to say it, I didn't have that much of a change going on to speak of."

"Well, how did your emotions change? Can you remember any strange sensation or dreams at the time?"

The barn had become lighter and I could now make out the piles of hay, pushing up the walls. There were odd pieces of machinery dotted around. A chill had remained trapped inside after the passing of the icy dawn.

"It was like I had a dullness wrapped around my legs when I walked. I know that sounds odd, but also my emotions if I remember, everything was bleak. I didn't care about anyone or anything. Just myself I suppose. That's it really, only thinking of myself."

"And the dreams?"

I had to concentrate harder to think back to this. The longer I did though, the more spots of images revealed themselves to me, and I tried to tell Dante what I could see as it came.

"A man. There was always this man. He looked like you, only blonde, with blueish eyes. He wanted to hurt me. He gripped my arm and I was so scared. I don't know why but I think he had lost a baby. He wanted to do something about the baby. I didn't want him to so I had to fight him. He said he would never let me go. That he owned me."

The strength of the nightmare from my fever returned, bringing with it the deeper memories from my pregnancy. Dragging them out of my subconscious and past whatever block the Repatriation had set up. I became more and more agitated as I talked about it.

"He wanted to control me, Dante! He was going to use me for something terrible. I fought him and scratched his face. Oh my goodness. I remember. I wouldn't let him. He wanted to kill me. He wanted to kill me and take over my body. Oh, how can that be possible?"

Uncontrollable fear, loss and guilt washed over me and I burst into tears, burying my head in Dante's body. His arms held onto me tightly, rocking me. His voice soothing my nerves, easing my fears.

"Easy, Tyke, easy now, it's all done, it's all past. You're safe here, you're safe with me. I know what's happened but I promise it won't ever again. This man is a monster. And I think I know who he is."