Lifeboat

31. Fear

Leaving the room, I rushed out into the corridor.

Erica.

The Doctor had said that Erica would be on the way. How would I find her? Did I really want to find her? For some reason, the tall, elegant young woman had made me nervous. No more so than when Dante had proclaimed that she could snap my neck with a click of her fingers.

Is she like me?

Maybe she had been a similar idea as I knew I must be, but perhaps she had found more choice in her situation. I found myself coming to terms with my new-found creation in an alarmingly easy manner. As if all the sass and carefree independent thinking I'd possessed had melted away to nothing.

She was there. Poll Tander. She still clawed at the back of my mind. There would be no peace until I could find a way to release her - me - from this program, or setting, or whatever you could call it.

A hand swept out of the shadows around the bend to the right of the corridor. Sharp, long nails dug into my wrist as I was forced to turn the corner and face my attacker.

"So. I found you."

Dark eyes glistened under the reflective LEDs.

"Are you going to tell me exactly why you murdered my father, or do I have the pleasure in beating it out of you?"

Erica.

I squirmed under her grip, eventually wrenching myself free.

"What are you talking about? I never murdered anybody." Rubbing my sore wrist, I checked if she had brought any company. The coast was clear.
"And who is your father?"

Erica sneered, her elegant top lip flicked upwards. She angled her sculpted face close to mine. Her half-cocked smile was stale, old and rehearsed. Fire raged within her voice.
"Don't say you can't remember snapping his neck in two. I'm sure you recall the sound."

For a moment I searched my memories, but did I really want to find something? The fact that I could have done such a terrible thing weighed heavily on my soul. I wasn't a killer. Barely a bratty teenager with a serious attitude. How could I possibly...?

Ah. But then. I am something new. I am not who I thought I was.

Peering sheepishly at the fierce goddess in front of me, I lowered my shoulders and spoke in a higher-pitched voice.
"I'm so sorry, Erica, I had no idea what I was doing. You have to believe me, it was never my intention to hurt anyone. Please, please tell me who your father was. I really need to know."

A semiquaver of hesitation beat in her eyes. She closed her open hands, clenching her fists to her sides. Blinking slowly, she lowered her gaze and caught my eye with a severe stare.
"I think you can guess. Run that hardware of yours backwards until you find it. The Medics room, in the Committee."

Frowning, I concentrated on my brain. Erica's trust had to be secured. Why, I had no idea. I only knew that it would be paramount to my survival and my mission.
"There's Dante, there's the Medic, then there's..."

Yes, there he was. The one-eyed man. The larger than life baritone-voiced acquaintance of Dante.

"He's following us into the Medical chamber. He's helping to push my trolley."

Erica slumped against the wall. She searched the length of the corridor behind me for a moment, then stared back at me. Moisture formed along her lower black lashes.

"The Medic is taking Dante away. They are leaving the room. I am upright, in the chamber."

It's so clear!

It was as if I saw it now for the first time. Following the action like a film, only the unwilling star of the show happened to be me.

"Your father is watching them go. Then he looks at me. His face is changing. He is not my friend."

Erica started to breathe heavily, she pulled in closer to me, her breath and body heat transferred itself onto my skin. I could almost taste the anticipation in her aura.

"He presses something on the panel. I know that he is attempting to sabotage my chamber. I cannot allow this. I disconnect my neural patterns from the controls and resist the nano interference. The panel door opens."

Erica slammed her hands flat against the wall either side of my head. Her face had turned to stone. She hissed at me.
"Tell me."

I swallowed. The strength in my legs had all but gone. My limbs, weak and useless under the pressure of her stare.

"He is not surprised. He is scared. I, I take a hold of his... his..."

"Yes?"

Erica bashed her fists against the wall, my ear drums rattled as the concrete cracked. Tears sprung loose from the rims of her beautiful black eyes.
"Tell me what you did, you creature."

I knew she needed this. I wished that all of my past had been explained to me so concisely. If it had, then maybe I wouldn't have had to do such an atrocious act. As it was I had no idea why I would have been programmed ready for such an eventuality.

Taking a hold of her wrists, I fixed her eyes with mine. She deserved to know. I understood that she and I were the same. Perhaps not from the same mould, nonetheless from a similar evolution. Erica happened to be nature's version of the new improved human being. Of that, I was certain. A pang of jealousy seared through me on the realisation that I represented humanity's attempt at a poor cousin.

"I take a hold of his neck and snap it like a twig. He falls down dead."

Her blood pounded through the veins underneath my fingers. Her tears ran free down her cheeks. She wept and rested her head against my shoulder. Sobs wracked her body and I became uncomfortably hot in her proximity. After a few minutes I could no longer stand it. I stepped back and held her out at arm's length.

Erica snivelled, then shook her head. She threw back her chiselled chin and fixed me with shimmering eyes. The flames of hate still burned there.
"We must get to Alessandro." Her voice quivered, the only betrayal of her emotionally fragile state.

I relaxed my grip on her hands and straightened up.
"Very well. Once we find him do we take him back to the Doctor? I have a feeling that she would like to see him."

Erica gave nothing away. A blank mask had descended across her face. All access to her emotions were now denied.
"No. We have to get him to the Central Committee. Let's hope they haven't broken him yet."

My chest tightened. I couldn't breathe. Blood vessels thundered in my ears.

Broken?

Swallowing, I pointed down the corridor.
"Is this the way?"

Erica smirked. She leaned in closer and whispered in my ear.
"Why should I help you now?"

I reacted without thought, my body in full defence. I threw her back against the wall and snarled in her face. My sharp little-girl voice startled myself as much as I'm sure it did her. Its contrast came out so starkly against my violent actions.
"Why should I help you after your father tried to kill me? How about because we are after the same result here and if we don't work together then we'll never make it happen. We have to get Dante out."