What Lies Beneath?

Part Two

Masculinity is a fragile thing. It can be broken or built depending on how it's viewed. ' A female can be masculine and a male is meant to be masculine.' Woah Woah Woah! Wait for a second...let's just rewind and hold back. Men don't HAVE to be 'masculine' there is no set definition of masculine, or rather there is but there should not be. A male should not be subjected to hate, to insults against their masculinity all because they don't fight another male, they prefer a cocktail to a 'Manly' beer, dominance, financial situations. If a man cannot provide for his family it does not make him any less of a male than a male who could. I wanna tell you a little story now about a friend of mine, his name is Zacharias and I'm Millie Barker, this is from his point of view. Picking up my bass guitar I gently strum a chord listening to the notes fill my ear, I hear a small giggle from the side of me, I automatically knew who it was, looking up I smile and set the guitar down against the wall, strolling over to my beautiful girlfriend, kissing her lips softly and brushing the hair behind her ear while mine covered my left eye which was bruised from a fight. Soon to hear her accompanied by two others, Cheryl and Jessie. I look up seeing Jessie give me a flare, I still don't forgive him for the bruised eye.  I'm sure you've read our story so far, we all helped May with her worries, and we'll expose Millies lying, scum bag of a boyfriend. Somehow our band stayed together and for stronger after the show. But that was after it had gotten worse.
Thinking back to the night I remember where we left off. Me hugging Millie and her younger sister running onto the stage and embracing her sister in a warm, cuddling hug. This sight made the tips of my mouth prick up as though being pulled by a string. I began to pack away my microphone and my guitar, Lou. Yes I named my guitar, and alright it might not be a manly thing to do but that's why I hide it, I hide everything because that's how I am supposed to be. Aren't I? Anyway, that night we all got pizza, we sat around a campfire and it was perfect! Feeling the warmth of the campfire ignited a glow in all of us that night. Between the songs and jokes, between the smiles and stories, our bonds became a kind of palpable ever-glow. The campfire glowed with the hearty memories of years past, inviting them to enter the present moment as bright as the sparks that leapt. But that wasn't the only thing that leapt, turning for one moment to grab a stick for Millie to make a s'more, I turn to a fist clashing against my cheek, then we brawl on the floor like animals fighting over prey, well that would've happened if I hadn't frozen like a damn child.

Shaking that night out of my head as the bruise was revealed to Millie, she brushed her ever-so soft touch against it as I sigh " Mils I'm okay" I kissed her head" Who's ready to blast some tunes out?" I ask setting my microphone up and placing them on the stand holding my guitar. Now waiting as the others perched themselves where they needed to be. For the next two hours, our ears were filled with music, pop music. This time Cheryl took her role as backup, her voice became ruined and she couldn't sing above a certain note so Millie stepped in. The notes and her voice went together harmoniously, it made me happy, I felt a bliss I had never felt before. After our practice had finished the girls were getting some coffee and I was packing up our things with Jessie. Turning to me he spoke" Hey, Zach how come you didn't hit me when I hit you? I mean c'mon dude you wanna show her your a real man, don't you? I mean what? You're living together now? Where? A loft?" He was trying to be funny, yet somehow I wasn't laughing, I felt hurt, but I was wrong to feel hurt.

Letting out a small fake laugh I shrug" Yeah we live in a loft, it's cosy. Her parents don't mind and we have our own space. We go halves on rent-" I was about to continue yet the jerk Interrupted me, "You're not paying full rent?" He scoffed and continued" What kind of man are you? Grow a pair of balls and provide your girl with what she needs! You did take her from me after all" he grabbed the bags for him and Cheryl before leaving, shaking his head. Now I was alone, alone but I felt crowded now with these thoughts. Sitting on the ground I hold my head. I feel tears yet I don't let them break through 'I'm not weak, I'm strong' I repeat to myself in my head, hearing a voice I wipe away a stow away tear and jump up" Hey Mil, I'm gonna cover this months rent I realised I paid short so I gotta step up" I kiss her taking my coffee" Wanna go see your sis?" I ask with a smile, she nods" Sure hun, let me bring the car around" She drunk her coffee grabbing her bag and leaving. I grab my bag and sigh to myself turning the lights out and exiting, locking the door I walk over putting my bag in the trunk of the car and getting into the passenger seat "Let's go."