Reality

Bare (long poem)

*Bare*
(Random capital letters make their own sentence)

i remember making a beat to our own rhythm
and laughing
we thought we knew It all and we were gonna rock
we were gonna be stars

i remember the time back when we were in a band
with a name no one could understand
but it was funny because we did

and we were okay with it

i like the inside jokes we had and the games we made up
the rules popped up when we wanted them to
and no understood
no one Knew

how so in love i was with you

i remember the Night sky at age thirteen
its no different from now from anyone's eye
but mine

we would lay there, bare our souls
One time, every night
we were just kids in love and alone
you would tell me your dreams

your hopes.

We were so in love, i thought, so close
we knew everything about each other
but you hide it well
you were in love too
with the adventures
you were In love with being free

but never were you
ever
in
Love
with
me

you wanted me with you
you wanted

a friend

and i wanted you too
and i thought i had you but now i see

it was Only a dream

you were never in love with me

we were just kids in love, i thought
in the middle of a field
alone and baring our Souls, together
only ever us
forever

Til one day i found you
without me
free from me
finally, it seemed

in that same field, laying there
i saw it all
i saw You whisper in her ear
and i saw how you were holding her
both Of you
bare

you didn't bare your soul this time

with her you showed her it all
your clothes on the ground next to hers
and her head on your naked
chest

listening to the beat
my heart
that you stole
that you
broke

and now that i know my soul is not to be bared to you anymore
my secrets i cannot spill
i will spill something else
and see if you notice
do you care?

in love with you was my favorite thing to be
i thought i had you in my hand
in my heart

i thought i was going everywhere with you
Until high school
and you changed
and i stayed
the
same
and i bore my soul to our favorite tree

you never did see
how much i
loved you
did you?

and i thought we were kids in love
we were gonna grow up together
have the longest relationship on earth

until i realized you gave up
and i never knew
you weren't in love
were you ever true?

but i see now there's no getting you back
no point in trying
i know you were hiding

and now i must go
i see i am not wanted
not allowed
ill just spill everything out

for
everyone
to
see

one last time

as i release my pain
by producing more pain
and hiding in the shadows wherever i remain
i hope you find my letter

i pinned it to our tree
"please remember me"

because i want you to know
before i go

that i hate those stars
and the tree we called ours
and i hate the wind
you said was our friend

because why would i want those
when
i
don't
even
have
you

i will put this letter on our tree and explain
if i could reach
the stars and feel their heat

it'd be nothing compared to the warmth

of
your
skin
what you made me feel

and the coffee, black as night,
you drank every morning
will never be as dark
or as
bitter
as what you made me feel
as what i know now is in you
what you now
call your heart

we were just kids in love
i thought
at last a love
that's nothing more
nothing less
than the sound of a heart with no beat
is what i will be
when i wake up

dead