WARNING!!: this chapter contains body dysmorphia/eating disorder/abuse topics. if that is triggering to you please don't read.
I shut my eyes quickly as a bowl of lucky charms and milk is thrown all over me.
I try not to cry as my mom starts to laugh. God i just want to go up to her and smack her.
My new outfit i paid for by going to our neighbors and doing yardwork (i got paid for doing) just got ruined. It was adorable too- A gorgeous red dress with little flowers all over it. I was with my friend Kayla when i bought it.
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"Just buy it Ana! It's beautiful and you worked for it. Red is literally your color too." Kayla smiled.
"Ughhh okay. It's not that much too, im gonna wear it tomorrow!" We walked over to the register and to my luck, the dress was even on sale too!
That was yesterday. It was the only fun day i could remember from the past, oh hell i dont even fucking know its been so long.
Christy- my mother who i hate even calling my mom is staring at me. She's not even laughing anymore, just squinting.
How can you hate your daughter so much?
"Mom there was no reason to do that,"
"Oh really? I told you to clean this entire fucking kitchen before i laid down to take a nap. I wake up and you're sitting here watching tv? You're such a lazy little bitch."
I shuddered at her cruel words.
Even though she was so mean to me i still loved her. Like at night, i would find my mind replaying the memories i have of me and her before the divorce between her and my father.
Like the times when she'd braid my hair and tell me how much she loves me.
Or when she would push me on the swingset.
whatever. those days were long gone now.
I got up out of my chair, we were in the kitchen and she had thrown a bowl of cereal at me, the milk now soaking my new dress.
She spit in my face.
I grabbed a paper towel and wiped my face and went up the stairs.
I was in the bathroom now, staring at myself in the mirror.
Don't fucking do it Anastasia.
Don't do it.
I ignored my thoughts and took the scale out of the bottom cabinet. It was heavy, but not as heavy as me.
I undressed myself, taking off all of my jewelry and making sure my bladder wasn't full and stepped on the scale.
120.
I wanted to sob. 1 fucking 20? Was my scale playing jokes on me? I was just 115 yesterday. I eat one meal and all of a sudden i gain 5 lbs??
I hold my tears back and grab a towel out of the bathroom closet.
"ANAAAAA!!!!!!!" My brother calls.
"What do you want"
"Sis i needa use the bathroom, dont hog it up taking another cold shower, its the second time today!"
"Ugh just use the bathroom downstairs" I croak.
I hear a growl followed by my brothers load footsteps going down the stairs.
My mother most likely left. Where? Probably to go fuck some man, shit i dont know.
I start the shower water and my eyes wander over to the dress, sitting there soaked in milk and soggy cereal on the bathroom floor.
I throw it in the trash. Wont be needing that not so beautiful item anymore.
I grab my phone and step into the shower. Yes i get on my phone in the shower.
I see a text from Kayla.
bitch omfg!!! did u not see the news? theres a guy who literally fucking punched this man in walmart for staring at him funny. this shit it hilarious.
Followed by her message i see a link to what shes talking about. And sure enough, the heading is all about some guy named Sage who punched a dude for using his eyes.
What a dick.
He probably had mommy issues too.
I turn on some music and set my phone on the floor by the shower.
Im singing lyrics to Ariana's songs when i hear yelling.
Oh fuck no.
My moms yelling at my brother again, she targets him because he reminds her of my dad. And im not suprised by this, i mean he looks just like him.
I guess she didnt leave.
I wanna cry.
I crawl into a ball in the shower and just ball my eyes out. I miss my daddy.
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THANK YOU FOR READING THE FIRST CHAPTER!!! Ahh ik my writing isnt the best but i hope you enjoyed it!<3
